Tabula Rasa
by Absentha666
Summary: After the War, what is left for Draco? Not much except for humiliation and anger. And perhaps an unexpected friendship.
1. An unexpected visit

**CHAPTER 1:**** An unexpected visit. **

It was not fair. It was not fair. It did not matter how many people were suffering as well; nor the ones who could not suffer anymore. Draco knew he was a raging bastard for having such horrible thoughts, but, still, they were there, and the only comfort he had was to dwell in his pain until the rest of the world seemed dull and gray by comparison. As he stared into the lit fireplace, he felt how his eyes burned, and waited for the tears to overflow his eyelids and roll down his face; but they never did.

-Master? –a creaky voice called from the door.

-Yes, Kerrin? –his eyes did not leave the flames as he spoke.

-Is there anything Master wants us to do with...?

-No, just leave everything as it is now.

'As it has always been', he thought bitterly. The house elf nodded and left, closing the office's door softly behind her. He knew she was shattered, for Narcissa and Lucius had always been rightful masters to her. But not anymore. What kind of master leaves their servants without a sad goodbye? Draco knew what kind. The kind that were encircled and imprisoned by force, as dirty criminals. Nevermind their outstanding contribution to the wizard society.

What was he to do, now? On his own, with no one by his side, Draco thought for the first time about how young and inexperienced he was. His whole life, he had been a mirror for his father to look at and smile. Draco swelled up with pride every time someone told him how much he resembled his father, for he had always been his one and only role model. But what can a mirror reflect if no one looks in it? Was he expected to assume the role of Master of the house, now? Judging by the way the elves had started bowing further down, he guessed so. He shivered.

-Kerrin –he called, in the same volume as if the house elf had been standing next to him.

-Yes, Master? –the creature entered the room in a hurry.

-Please, make sure all fireplaces are properly lit. The house is awfully cold.

-Yes, Master –she bowed again before running out of the room.

As Draco observed the walls of his father's office, the shelves filled with books, the leather chairs… He felt another chill running up his spine and wished Kerrin would hurry with the fireplaces. Little did he know that the cold he felt inside his bones had nothing to do with the house's temperature.

* * *

The dark, cloaked figure appeared at the front of Malfoy Manor. In a matter of seconds, the elves had warned his Master, and he received the stranger with a smile as firm as the grip on his wand.

-Put your wand away, Mr. Malfoy –a very well-known voice said.

-Professor –his cold smile widened-, what a delightful surprise.

-You may keep your sarcasm to yourself.

-Please, come in –he made a gesture with his arm as he opened the door.

-Thank you.

He led her to the office, where he spent most of his time now. McGonagall started sweating as soon as she stepped in; the room was horribly warm, and the flaming fireplace did not make it any better. As Draco poured two glasses of his father's fine scotch, she raised a sceptical eyebrow.

-Are you old enough to drink that, Draco? –she asked.

-I'm not going to ask you the same question, Minerva –he smiled again.

Without a word, she accepted the glass and sat on one of the leather chairs in front of the desk. Draco sat behind it, and she had the horrible impression it was not her student who was in front of her, but his father. Lucius Malfoy also had a particular way of making you feel like shit just by smiling. Her only comfort was that his face had a little bit more colour in it than Lucius'.

-You did not come for idle conversation, I suppose.

-Actually I came to see how you were.

-How touching –he took a sip of scotch.

-I have been contacting all students lately. Basically, as new Headmistress, I decided to welcome back everyone who could not finish seventh grade. That includes all those half-bloods and mudbloods (isn't that what you call them?) who were banned from Hogwarts.

-Very thoughtful of you –he nodded.

-I seriously do not appreciate your irony, Draco.

-This was not irony, Minerva; I can assure you you will know when I use irony with you. I actually find the idea very adequate.

-Are you going to consider my offer, then?

-And spend another year at Hogwarts? –his eyebrows rose- Maybe even be a Prefect, huh?

-I am not sure things would go that far –Minerva smirked-. But if you do want to continue your studies, you would be welcome back.

-Look around you, Minerva –he made a gesture with his hand-. Everything my parents owned now is mine. Why on earth would I want to go back there?

-Because. Now you have lots of things, but you are nothing.

Draco's eyes narrowed down to tiny slits. He still could not believe she had bothered to visit him; surely she had not paid each one of her students a visit. And there she was, drinking his father's scotch (quite avidly, he thought), and insulting him right in his face. 'If she was a hundred years younger…', the odd thought crossed his mind.

-This is completely up to you, Draco, but I'm going to be frank with you: everyone knows who you are. Sooner or later, you will have to make something out of your life. Who do you think will want to employ you? Or work for you? Or even allow you to marry their daughter?

-In answer to your questions, I have enough money to spend the rest of my life without a job. I would never want to employ anyone and I am seriously considering spending the rest of my life in celibate.

-Okay, yes, whatever, Draco. Do you think you can take it? Spending the rest of your life in a cold huge mansion by yourself?

-I can try.

-You're no Severus Snape, son.

Involuntarily, his teeth clenched, and his grip on the scotch glass tightened until he thought he might break the glass. That had been a very low shot. That greasy son of a bitch had lied to everyone; him included, and after all, died to save everyone. Him included. Once fucking Potter had told the truth, Draco understood all those mysteries about Severus. And how the blood traitor had worked for so many years to destroy Voldemort. And how he had guessed Draco could not be able to kill that ancient moron.

-And I am happy to say you are not your father, either.

-You are dangerously close to crossing the line, Minerva.

-Really? And what are you going to do? Attack me? –she laughed- You wouldn't have a chance.

She scanned his face and knew he thought she was right. Obviously, there was no way he could compete with someone like Minerva McGonagall. And he was aware of it.

-This is why you have to come back to Hogwarts. Unless you want everyone to think that Draco Malfoy is an illiterate jerk who could not even finish his studies.

-Touché, Minerva –he gulped the rest of the scotch down his throat and made a face.

-Very well, then –she rose up-. I brought you the list of materials you're going to need. Though I think you already have most of them.

Draco watched her leave a couple sheets of paper on the desk and adjust her cloak. From her height, Minerva realised how scared and young he actually looked, and had to repress a sigh. She had never liked Draco Malfoy, and sure as hell she was not going to like him now. But it was, nonetheless, a demolishing sight.

-I will see you back at Hogwarts, then.

-Kerrin –Draco called out loud.

-Yes, Master? –the elf walked in as if she had already been waiting.

-Escort Professor McGonagall outside, please.

-Yes, Master.

As he watched the new Headmistress of Hogwarts leave the room right after the scrawny creature, a very strange thought crossed his mind and he started wondering if Kerrin actually knew how to speak, for he had never heard her say anything besides of those two words: 'Yes, Master'.


	2. Anything for you

**CHAPTER 2: Anything for you.**

Minerva McGonagall, new Headmistress of Hogwarts, was giving her welcoming speech at the Great Hall. Although she lacked the charisma Albus Dumbledore had always had, she presented a very reliable support for the school, and a source of confidence for all those students who still thought Hogwarts would never be the same.

Draco looked around him with disinterested boredom. Several pairs of eyes encountered his, but he refused to make contact with any of those; not out of shame or fear, but of indifference. Only one of those pairs of eyes was worth a tiny effort. When his silvery irises found the emerald ones, he stopped for a second to look into them, and, quite surprisingly, found out Harry Potter did not feel anything that could even resemble triumph over him. Which was actually very Potter-like. And revolting. He clapped mechanically when McGonagall sat down and everyone started eating. His plate remained empty, since he was not hungry, and at the sight of the well-known pumpkin juice, he wished he had a bottle of red wine or even scotch with him. The taste was not as pleasant as it seemed, but he liked the burning sensation that ran down his throat.

-You alright, mate? –a voice interrupted his trail of thought.

He snapped, as if he had been half-asleep. After nodding slightly at Blaise, he served himself a glass of that disappointing pumpkin juice. He could still feel Zabini's dark eyes upon him, watching his every move. The second he looked up at him, the boy looked away.

-Is that all you're going to have? Come on, Draco, you need to eat something!

Pansy's annoying timbre shot through his ears as lightning. The girl started filling his empty plate with all kinds of food which looked extremely disgusting (or so he thought). Truth was, he had not been eating much since his parents had been taken away, nevermind how hard Kerrin tried to feed him. He got a whiff of Pansy's expensive perfume and thought, disgusted, about how his mother could not wear perfume anymore. He would have to pay them a visit soon, unfortunately. Pansy kept blabbering as if she had a verbal disorder.

-Pansy, shut up –he commented with his most trivial tone.

Pansy gave him puppy eyes and he had to repress a growl. Ever since the end of the war, her main objective in life had been treating him like a disabled idiot. Only because she got to keep both her parents and had no other occupation to fill her time with. The girl twirled a blond lock of hair between her fingers as she looked at him.

-I'm worried about you, Draky.

Zabini snorted, and Draco gave her the most vicious look he had ever dedicated a female. Her pupils dilated and she shrunk a little bit. Draco leaned forward to whisper in her ear, in a manner that, seen from a distance, could have been mistaken for seductive.

-Call me that one more time and I'll rip your tongue out.

As he withdrew, he saw tears forming in her baby blue eyes and he observed her cry with curiosity. Alienated as he was, it was a comforting sight. Pansy's lips trembled, and Draco brought one thumb to her face; she mistook the gesture for tenderness and almost smiled. He wiped her tears and then brought his finger to his lips, savouring the salty dismay he had caused Pansy. Draco felt absolutely nothing when more tears rolled down her perfect face. Then, she got up in silence and left the Great Hall.

-That was unnecessary… -Blaise complained.

-It was totally necessary. She needs to learn.

-Learn what?

-That she cannot have me.

-Can I have a go, then? –a flashy smile was shot at him.

Daphne Greengrass observed him with very obvious intentions. Not that she was unpleasant to look at (not at all), but the way she was just hitting on someone her best friend was so desperately in love with reminded Draco of why he had such disregard for the female individual. Her curly, golden hair fell around her face like a halo, and her green eyes glistened with a malevolent seduction he did not find arousing at all.

-I'm sure Pansy would appreciate that, Daphne –Blaise said, with a hint of disgust in his voice.

-Oh, you know her –she rolled her eyes-. I could never be as obsessive and protective.

-I am sure of that –Draco gave her a cold glare.

-Unless you wanted me to… -she purred.

-Daphne, stop parading yourself! It's diminishing.

Three pairs of eyes (green, black and silver) focused on the girl sitting next to Daphne. Astoria looked nothing like her sister, and was completely proud about that. Her raven hair was cut short at the back and longer at the front, and covered her dark eyes partially. She was petite, and bony, and completely graceless.

-Dimi what? –Daphne gave her the stink eye.

Astoria snorted and shook her head, while reading a book. Her fringe swept her cheeks, and Draco noticed for the first time ever that she had two silver rings which pierced her lower lip. Actually, he believed it was the first time he ever noticed the girl. He was, of course, aware Daphne had a younger sister, but never paid much attention.

-It means you're acting like a whore, sis –she stressed the last word, with a smirk.

Daphne hated being called _sis_ by Astoria. It was bad enough having her as a sibling; she did not need to have everyone around them reminding themselves about their relation. That was, probably, the reason why Astoria insisted in sitting by her sister at every chance she got.

-As opposed to acting like a lesbo? –Daphne bit back.

-So basically you would define heterosexual femininity as throwing yourself at a Malfoy's crotch?

Daphne's eyes narrowed until only a tiny green slit was left, which actually made Astoria very happy. She hated that bitch. Always reminding her of how homely and plain she was. Daphne got to insult her appearance; she got to insult Daphne's intelligence. It had always been like that.

-Astoria, shut up and go pierce something else, will you? Your heart, if possible.

Daphne accompanied her words with a gesture of the hand, as if she was trying to keep a fly away from her. Astoria closed her book loudly and got up, with a totally sickened expression in her face. Her whole outfit was black and loose-fitting, and the military boots she wore made her look even thinner. She stuck her tongue out at her sister and Draco saw another adornment on it.

-You should try to get one, _sis_. At least you would have to shut up for a couple days.

-And let you do the social acquaintances? How adequate.

-Fuck off –she gave her the finger, and half the table stared at her, horror-struck.

-You see what I have to put up with? –Daphne complained, once her sister was out of sight- It's like we're not really sisters.

-Maybe you're not –Draco commented with a casual tone-. Judging by the education your mother gave you, she must have been as much of a whore as you are.

Green eyes widened and bulged out, as if she wanted to jump on him and strangle Draco. Her expression was met by Draco's perfect smile and she decided the best thing to do was to simply get up and leave, just like Pansy and Astoria had done before her. Without a word, she left, and Blaise shook his head at Draco.

-If I were you I would stop that. The year has just begun.

-So?

-So what are you going to do in a couple weeks when you get horny? –Blaise laughed.

-Come on, Blaise. You know if I snapped my fingers right now they would all come panting.

For once, in a very long time, his voice had no hints of arrogance in it. Just a simple and obvious sincerity.

-How are you doing? –Zabini asked him.

-Do you seriously expect me to unburden myself to you, Blaise?

-Not really. But you know, I thought asking would be the polite thing to do.

-Well, I appreciate it, mate –Draco nodded politely.

Blaise sighed, and took a circular look around the room. Nothing interesting. The same exact faces from other years. Only a lot of people were missing, this time. All tables were only half-occupied, even the Slytherin one. Sure, it was probably due to those specific students not wanting to come back to Hogwarts, instead of having been murdered by the Dark forces. But still, it made him feel a little bit worthier every time he had to face a Gryffindor, a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff. That was his main preoccupation nowadays: feeling undeserving for everything he had. His parents, even though sympathizers of the Dark Cause, could not be proved to have served the Dark Lord directly, and therefore, avoided prison. This was the main reason why he felt like crap in front of his best friend. Not only had Draco to face the current situation all by himself; he also knew that everyone was aware of his troubles. And knowing that Draco was having the hardest of times was a really devastating truth for Blaise.

* * *

Daphne heard someone sniffling when she walked into the bathroom. Of course, Pansy had gone there as well.

-Pansy? –she called her name out loud.

Before Pansy's shaky response was heard, Daphne wiped her own crocodile tears and cleared her throat.

-I came to see how you were.

Her lie seemed to animate Pansy a little bit, and she opened the door of her cubicle. Sitting on the WC, her dress wrinkled and her hair messy, she looked like Mrs. Potato. Daphne handed her a Kleenex, in a revoltingly fake sympathetic gesture.

-You know how he is, don't take it personally.

-Why does he have to treat me like that? –Pansy cried, within sobs.

-Oh, Pansy… -she kneeled in front of her friend and hugged her sweetly- Maybe it's time you forgot about him.

-You know I cannot do that…

-Yes, you can! And I'm going to help you, alright?

Pansy threw her arms around Daphne and cried on her shoulder for a while, as a big, wide smirk appeared on her friend's face.

-Oh, Daphne… You're such a good friend.

-Anything for you, Pansy…


	3. If only you knew

**CHAPTER 3: If only you knew. **

-Aaargh!

Luna and Helena laughed at Astoria's growl. They had been waiting for her, sitting under the shadow of a big oak, enjoying the last rays of sun. Astoria dropped her book on the soft velvety grass and sat down, Indian style. Luna smiled at her, dreamily, and Helena gave her her usual 'what's-up-bitch' smirk.

-Your sister again? –she asked, quite amused.

-God, she's gross… Can you believe she was just hitting on Malfoy right after he had made Parkinson cry?

-Meh… -Helena shrugged- Who gives a fuck about them, anyway.

-I know, but it's just… Ew. I mean, we are family. Am I suppose to let her taint the Greengrass reputation just like that?

-Okay, that sounded really Slytherin-like –Helena laughed while brushing her fringe off her face.

-I am in Slytherin, Lena…

-I like your shirt –Luna said, out of random.

-Thanks! I like your earrings… What are they exactly?

-Avocados.

-Oh.

Helena smirked again when her dark chocolate eyes found Astoria's black ones. They were both much more similar in character to each other than to Luna, but the blonde was the piece that kept them together at all times, nevermind how freaky she got. That day she was wearing a long green coloured skirt and an orange cardigan, baby blue Mary Janes and an orange hair flower that contrasted horribly with her platinum blonde hair. Astoria guessed she had wanted to look good for her first school day. Helena, on the other side, was wearing a pair of micro shorts that revealed her tan, slender legs, a pair of red wedges and a black halter top with tiny cherries printed in red. Her dark auburn hair was wavy, and she had put red lipstick on.

-You want a piece of me? –she asked Astoria, seeing as the girl wouldn't take her eyes off her clothes.

-Sorry, I just realized I should not be blaming my sister for being a skank. God knows she is just trying to copy your style.

-Very funny, Gothzilla!

Helena laughed when Astoria gave her the stink eye. They were not exactly similar physically: basically, Helena was a hottie. Half the boys in the school had tried something with her, but she was actually kind of frigid in that sense. Astoria did not really know about anyone she had had an affair with. Rumours circulated about her being a lesbian, but that was something anyone who knew her would qualify as false. Talking about men was Helena's number one priority.

-By the way, have you seen Zabini this year? –she purred.

-What is it with you and Slytherins? –Luna giggled.

-You know me; I like my men tall, dark and handsome.

-You like all men, Helena, don't try to fool me –Astoria grinned.

-Whatever. So Pansy was actually crying? –Helena smirked.

-Yeeeeah –she laughed-. As if she had expected Malfoy to change after the war, you know?

-Seriously, how many years as he been abusing her for? –Helena frowned suddenly- Isn't it time she got over him?

-Meh… I really really really don't want to go to the dorm tonight.

-Who are you stuck with this year?

-As usual: Daphne, Pansy and that autistic bitch from my grade. God, I wish I was a Ravenclaw…

-We, the chosen, are very scarce in number –Helena shook her head and her thick, dark waves danced around her face.

Helena was a very proud Ravenclaw. Everyone in her family had been a fervent student of that house, and she was even named after the creator of the House.

-Oh, by the way, Astoria… -Luna sat up, for she had been lying on the grass, staring at the clouds- Did you finally get it?

-Get what? –she looked up, with a cheesy grin on her sharp face.

-You bitch! You got it! –Helena squealed in delight- Come on, show us!

-Uh… It's kind of private…

-Come on, there's no one around!

-Fine, fine!

Astoria got up, brushing leaves of grass of her baggy jeans and looked around to see if anyone was coming. Then, she brought her hands to her shoulder blades and pulled her shirt up to show her friends her newly decorated back. Both jaws dropped at the sight of her new tattoo: a black dragon which crossed her back diagonally. The head was tattooed on her right shoulder blade, and the tail was, supposedly, going down her left butt-cheek.

-Show us your butt! –Helena laughed.

-Nooo, it doesn't go down my butt, you moron –she laughed as well-. It goes down my hip and finishes on my thigh.

Astoria was still holding her shirt up and laughing when Draco and Blaise passed by, whispering to each other. Both boys stopped dead on their tracks at the scene. Draco had never seen a real muggle tattoo in his whole life, and that one was preposterously huge. The drawing extended across her tiny back and further down her pants. A dragon. Zabini elbowed him on the side, as if it had been necessary.

-I think we've got some company –Luna said, all of a sudden, in an amiable tone.

Astoria turned around harshly, her black eyes shooting daggers at the guys. Draco needed a couple seconds to regain his composure.

-Sweet Merlin, Astoria, that is one hell of a tattoo –Zabini approached them with a radiant smile.

-Yeah, well… Glad you like it –she rolled her eyes and, rolling her shoulders, let the shirt fall back on its place.

-Hey, there, ladies –his attention quickly went from his Slytherin companion to the Ravenclaws. More accurately, to Helena.

-Hi Blaise –she smiled back at him-. How was your summer?

-It just got better… -he raised one eyebrow, checking her up and down.

Astoria snorted and made a disgusted face. Luna smiled dreamily at her, and actually invited the boys to sit down with them. Black eyes pierced her hatefully. Draco hesitated. Sitting down with Ravenclaws was exactly what he would call a social _faux-pas_. Then again, he thought about how he despised the Slytherins as much as the rest of the students. The only one who was still on his good side was Blaise, and quite frankly, he deserved some 'action'. Ever since Draco's parents had been arrested he had done nothing else than worry about him.

-How are you, Draco? –Luna asked, surprisingly. Her high-pitched voice contained no sarcasm whatsoever, and Draco did not know whether to scowl or be polite.

-Ehrm… Fine. Thank you.

He did not really know how to act in front of Luna Lovegood, seeing how she had been imprisoned in his own house. He had never, of course, done anything to the prisoners, but he was positive that Luna remembered him being there.

-I heard about your parents. I'm sorry.

Everyone looked at Luna with extremely wide eyes. Draco included. He had never thought someone could actually bring the subject up. And the fact she did not even do it to hurt him was very awkward.

-Thank you –he muttered, his voice almost inaudible.

He lowered his gaze, not knowing exactly how to feel. He was kind of ashamed, and he did not even know why. He was still proud of being his parents' son. Blaise gave him a questioning look, as if to make sure he was alright. He then proceeded to change the subject.

-So, Helena… -he scooted over to her- Do you want to go for a walk, or something?

-Not really, no –she shot him a radiant smile-. Thanks for the offer, though.

Blaise's grin faded away until the only thing left on his face was an expression of complete confusion. Helena seemed to be responding to his active flirting with him, but as soon as he asked, she moved away from him. Maybe she was a lesbian, after all. A lesbian who enjoyed torturing guys for a little while, before things got too serious. His dark eyes met Astoria's. The girl was giving him a pretty dirty look, and he suddenly felt kind of threatened. As he excused himself, he got up, brushing leaves of grass of his elegant trousers and nodded at Draco to go with him. The blond muttered a goodbye and left after his friend.

-Okay, Lena, I've got a question for you –Astoria said-. How come you never ever date anyone?

-Look who's talking –the brunette laughed, throwing her head back.

-Yeah, but… You've got two hundred guys on their knees. There's got to be someone decent in Hogwarts for you to date.

-I don't want to date any of these losers, okay? It's complicated. I know you all think I have a great life because I'm pretty or whatever. But it doesn't work like that, you know. Every time someone approaches me I know they're only thinking about one thing. I wish I could actually talk to a guy who would be listening, instead of checking out my legs.

-Have you tried wearing normal people's clothes?

-Why would I do that? I like the attention. But I'm not going to let these guys feel me up just because they praise my body.

-I've heard girls saying you're a lesbian –Luna commented, smiling.

-You know I don't give a fuck about what other people think.

-That's you –Luna nodded.

-That's us –Astoria palmed her friends' legs with both hands and smiled wide.

* * *

-I bet she is.

-Come on, Blaise, you've got to admit she doesn't look like a lesbian at all.

-And how is a lesbian supposed to look like? –Blaise mocked Draco.

-I don't know… Skinnier. Uglier. Probably like that Astoria girl.

Blaise laughed at Draco's face. He was still shocked about the tattoo thing. It was probably the fact that it reminded him of the Dark Mark he would have to hide for the rest of his life. He was very grateful for the weather in England. That way he could spend all the years ahead of him wearing long sleeves.

-Mate, that's cruel. She's actually not that ugly.

-You find everyone snoggable –Draco said, with a face.

'If only you knew, mate', Blaise thought to himself, 'If only you knew'.


	4. One last wish

**CHAPTER 4: One last wish. **

-Why do you keep dragging us around the Gryffindors, Luna? –Helena whined.

The Gryffindor boys were probably the least delicate ones when they tried to hit on her. A visit to their common room meant she would have bruises on her arse the following morning.

-I think they're nice –Luna smiled.

-I know who you think is nice… -Astoria smirked- You fancy that Longbottom kid, don't you?

-No, I don't! –but she reddened as a tomato.

-Seriously, Luna, out of all the guys in here… You like Neville? –Helena made a face.

-What's wrong with him?

-You know… -she raised an eyebrow.

-You're so full of shit, Helena! –Astoria groaned- You keep complaining about how no one seems to appreciate your inner beauty and then you pick on her because she likes Longbottom.

-Yeah, like you would want anything with someone like him!

-That's none of your business! Nor mine, for that matter. This only concerns Luna. If she likes him, I'd say go for it.

-Girls, please… -Luna muttered, embarrassed- Keep your voice down.

-Sorry, love –Astoria punched her softly in the arm-. But seriously, you have my blessing.

As she headed towards the Slytherin common room, she turned around and yelled at her Ravenclaw friends:

-French the hell out of him!

-Miss Greengrass, please! –Professor Slughorn called her name out loud- Could you be a little more discreet?

-Sorry, Professor.

-I'm sure Professor Snape would have given you detention for such a language.

-He probably would have, sir –Astoria hung her head down.

-Very well, then. Tomorrow night I'm expecting you at the dungeons to help clean up the Potions materials.

Astoria sighed, but all the same smiled slightly at Slughorn. He was not a bad man, and, quite frankly, he seemed a little bit overwhelmed with so many teenagers running around.

-Yes, sir.

-Goodnight, then, Miss Greengrass.

-Goodnight, sir.

She rolled her eyes back once he was out of sight. The second she stepped into her dorm, she could feel the tension in the air. Pansy was crying, again. Her sister, Daphne, held her by the shoulders, in an obviously fake attempt to comfort her. The other Slytherin girl, Martha, was reading a book sitting on her bed, oblivious to everything that happened around her. Not that it surprised her; Martha was not autistic, but could easily be mistaken for it.

-Hey, Pansy, are you alright? –she forced herself to ask, just out of politeness.

-Does it look like she is? –Daphne snapped- God, Astoria, could you be less tactful?

-Hey, I'm just asking, okay?!

-It's alright –Pansy sobbed-. Thanks, Astoria.

-Don't thank her. She's almost as bad as he is –Daphne commented, glaring at her sister.

-He? –Astoria played stupid.

-Draco Malfoy, of course! –Daphne looked like she could spit on her.

-Draco… Draco… -Astoria put a finger to her lips- Oh, yeah, I know a Draco. Isn't that the guy you were hitting on right after Pansy left the table before?

Daphne's eyes widened at her words. Pansy stopped whimpering abruptly and raised her eyes to look at Astoria. She then looked straight at Daphne, who backed away a little bit. As Pansy regained composure, Daphne stood up and walked up to the door, muttering excuses and soothing words. The second Pansy jumped off the bed, Daphne opened the door and ran out of the room as fast as her legs allowed her. Pansy followed quickly, yelling her name angrily. Daphne only had the time to step into the common room before she was tackled down by her friend. She fell flat on her face and cried. Pansy turned her around and kept her still with her knees as she slapped her hard on the face. Astoria joined the rest of the Slytherins in watching how both girls fought. Daphne tried desperately to scratch Pansy's face, but Pansy was too fast and too furious for her to do anything. She grabbed a handful of blond curls and pulled hard, yanking it. Daphne screamed in pain right before someone pulled Pansy off her. The girl struggled to get rid of Draco, who was firmly holding her back.

-Let me go!

-Stop this, Pansy! What the hell has gotten into you?! –he screamed at her.

-What do you think?! –she turned around and glared at him with her beautiful sapphire eyes- Did she or did she not hit on you earlier today?

-So what? –his irises seemed metallic to her now.

Pansy stopped for a second and understood what she was doing. She realized she was making a completely unnecessary scene. Draco Malfoy was nobody anymore, and she did not have any logical reasons to deal with him. She chuckled.

-What? –he snapped.

-God, you're pathetic –her chuckles turned to a big wide grin-. Go ahead, fuck her. Fuck everyone else. I don't care anymore. You're not worth it anymore.

-Shut up –he said, through his clenched teeth, aware that everyone else could hear her words.

-Says who? You? –Pansy was laughing now, glad to see she had finally hurt him bad- Why would I have to listen to a poor useless orphan? You're a good-for-nothing son of a bitch, Draco. With or without a Dark Mark.

Professor Slughorn had heard the riot and, puffing, ran to the Slytherin common room. What he had expected was nothing compared to what he actually saw. Pansy Parkinson stood in front of Draco Malfoy, panting. The boy's eyes were open as wide as they could be; his face pale as chalk. In the blink of an eye, he raised his hand and struck Pansy hard across the face. She fell down, with a sob. Then, somebody noticed Professor Slughorn and they all stood out of the way. The elderly man gave Draco an incredulous look before kneeling down to help Pansy. Once he brushed her blond locks of hair off her face, he saw her bottom lip was busted. The second he looked back at Draco, the boy knew he was fucked.

* * *

-This is outrageous! –Minerva pounded with her fist on the desk- What the hell was going through your head?!

Draco did not answer. He simply stared back at the Headmistress with the coldest expression in his repertoire. He was thankful that she had asked Horace to leave, though. The old man looked like he could burst into tears at any moment.

-When I asked you to come back to Hogwarts I actually believed you could make a profit out of this. And on your first day, Draco, you have assaulted one of your classmates.

-You didn't hear what she said.

-I do not give a fuck about what she said. What can you possibly tell me about Miss Parkinson that I do not know already? Yes, she is annoying, and clingy, and obsessive. That does not give you the right to abuse her, and I am telling you, this is the last chance I am ever going to give you.

-Maybe I don't want another chance.

-That's why I'm giving it to you –Minerva barked-. Because, even though you do not deserve it, I am a much better person than you.

-What gives you the right to decide that? –he hissed.

-How do you sleep at night, Draco? –she asked, randomly.

-Pretty bad.

-I sleep fine. There's your answer.

Draco glared at her with hate. Deep inside, though, he could feel some kind of admiration growing. Minerva McGonagall was definitely despicable. Proud, stubborn and mouthy. Maybe if he had had a typically Gryffindor mother he would still have someone left.

-You're going to scrub Potion cauldrons every night for a month, starting tomorrow. If you skip one single detention, it's going to be the rest of the year. Is that clear, Mister Malfoy?

-Yes, Headmistress –he grinned at her-. I just remembered, I'm going to need to be excused one of these days.

-Why is that?

-I decided it's about time I pay my parents a visit.

-When you have a particular date in mind come see me.

-Thank you, Minerva –he nodded.

Without waiting for an answer or permission, he got up and left. Minerva shook her head as she reached into one of the drawers to pull out a bottle of Firewhiskey. She served herself half a glass, which she drank in one big gulp. She brought her fingers to her temples and massaged them softly, wondering what the hell was yet to happen during her first year as Headmistress of Hogwarts.

* * *

Even though he would have rather died than admitted it, Draco was kind of ashamed to go back into the Slytherin common room. Fortunately enough, Professor Slughorn had sent everyone off to bed immediately, and only Blaise was waiting for him, hidden in a corner.

-Did she rip you a new one? –he asked in a whisper.

He startled Draco, who had not seen anyone in the room. Once he recognized the voice, he sat down next to him and exhaled heavily.

-I have to scrub cauldrons for a month.

-Could have been worse.

-So what, Blaise? –he sighed.

After a couple minutes of silence, Blaise dared to mutter:

-She's okay. Madam Pomfrey healed her in a second.

-I did not ask you.

-You didn't have to.

Draco felt his glottis close tight. He knew he was not going to cry. He was not able to anymore. But the fact he could not let his emotions flow freely, not even in front of his best friend, was much more painful than he could have guessed. His tears rotted inside and left bitter traces all over the place. The fireplace was still lit, and he thought it would not really matter if he stayed there for a little while. Blaise would stay with him alright. He always stayed with him. At some subconscious level, Draco was aware that his friend had always been in love with him. And, disturbing as it was when he thought about it, it also gave him a kind of warm sensation; to know that someone was still able to love him and to see someone of value in his disintegrating self. He knew it was selfish, but he let Blaise hold him in his arms and allowed himself to drift off to sleep as his friend played with his locks of smooth hair. His last conscious thought was a wish. He actually wished he could love Blaise the same way he loved him.


	5. Latinisms and smokes

**CHAPTER 5: Latinisms and smokes. **

Okay. That fat chick had been the third one to glare at him, and he had not even had breakfast yet. He was actually very glad that, after the War, half the Slytherin population was gone, so he could sit as far away as he wanted from his classmates. Seven seats between him and them made him feel a little better. Blaise sighed and followed him to the end of the table, to take the seat in front of him.

-You don't have to do this, you know.

Draco took a quick glance at the other end of the table. He met several pairs of violent eyes. Only Pansy and Daphne looked away. At least Pansy looked alright. No marks were left on her face, although the ones under her eyes were pretty noticeable. Draco looked down and almost threw up at the sight of his oatmeal. Not even five minutes had passed when someone accidentally poured a jar of pumpkin juice on him.

-Oh, my God, I am SO sorry! –the girl said. He could see a smile starting to form on her lips.

Laughter followed, and then, in a very shameful act, someone threw a glass at Draco. Blaise saw it in time and casted a spell to make it stop right before it hit him. Draco held the glass and left it on the table, unemotionally. Professor McGonagall was already on her feet, screaming.

-Who did this?! Stand up!

Everyone (except the teachers and the Slytherins, who were sitting too far away) had seen Ron Weasley charm the glass so it would attack Malfoy. And the second he made the movement to stand up, everyone followed him. Minerva stared at the crowd, furious, and still unbelieving that everyone was standing up against someone who had hurt Pansy Parkinson. She knew she could never find the guilty student amongst them. They would not say a word.

-Get out of here! Everyone! –she yelled.

As people gradually exited the Great Hall, those who had remained seated (mostly Slytherins) started getting up and joining the exodus. That had never been seen before. Eventually, only Draco and Blaise were left in the Great Hall, besides of the teachers, who were still eyeing the door, incredulous of what had just happened. For once, Draco was glad he had actually met Voldemort. Because if not, this would have been the most horrible thing to happen to him.

* * *

-Did you see that bastard's face?

-It's a pity Zabini stopped the glass in time –Ron snapped his tongue.

-Well, I thought it rather adequate –Hermione Granger said-. You could have really hurt him!

-You mean like he hurt Pansy? –Harry Potter interrupted her, aggressively.

-Come on, Harry, like you ever gave a fuck about Parkinson!

-I don't like her either –Neville commented-. But I did feel sorry for her.

Luna smiled at Neville's words and Helena and Astoria crossed glances and significant smiles. Everyone kept giving their opinions on the matter. Until Ron finally said, with his chest swollen:

-Someone had to give him what he deserves.

-Oh, and throwing a glass at him when he's not looking is what he deserves? –Astoria talked for the first time, as she exhaled smoke from her chocolate flavoured cigarette.

Nobody was allowed to smoke at Hogwarts, of course, but she had had the habit for years and was not about to give up now. During the last years she had gotten detention several times because of that, but in the end, teachers had stopped trying. She was just too damn stubborn. According to her logic, scrubbing cauldrons was still worth it if it allowed her to enjoy her smokes.

-What is that supposed to mean? –Ron squinted.

-It means that just because he's a bastard it doesn't mean you're a saint.

-I never said I was.

-Shut up, Weasley –Helena cut him off-. What you did was cowardly and that's it.

-Cowardly? I'd like to see if you thought the same if he had hit you, instead of Parkinson! –Harry snapped.

-Oh, fuck the lot of you –Astoria groaned-. You self-righteous idiots.

Ron took one step forward and looked down at her, threateningly. He was several inches taller than Astoria. Nonetheless, she did not feel taken aback whatsoever. She waited for the right moment.

-You better keep your mouth shut, you Slytherin dyke! –he grinned.

Being as small as she was, Astoria had always wanted to learn a martial art. You never knew when you could need it. Her typically Slytherin parents, of course, wouldn't even hear about it, and whenever she brought up the subject she got punished during weeks. But a girl has her ways, and a couple furtive visits to a cybercafé allowed her to learn the best ways to neutralize an attack. Not that Weasley had attacked her, per se. But he was really getting on her tits. She tensed her right hand and bent only the first phalanx. She usually hit the neck with this move, but Weasley was too tall for that. So she simply sunk her hand with strength into the pit of his stomach. He grunted and fell on his knees.

-Miss Greengrass!!!!!!!!!!!! –she recognized Slughorn's voice in the distance- Double detention for you!!!

'What the hell', she thought, 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. After she kicked him in the face, Ron learnt to be very grateful that Astoria had not been able to gather the money to buy a pair of steel-toed army boots.

* * *

-So it was Weasley.

-Yes.

-I heard you kicked him in the face.

Draco scrubbed and scrubbed the bottom of a cauldron unsuccessfully. His nails hurt. Judging by the degree of corruption that the pot had suffered, he guessed it had been Longbottom's practicing recipient.

-That I did.

-Thank you for that.

-Not like I did it for you –she snorted, rolling her sleeves up.

They worked for a while in silence, until Draco broke a nail. He cursed and dropped the cauldron he had been scrubbing. It made a loud sound against the stone floor and echoed through the dungeons. Astoria stopped scrubbing to look at him as he fixed his broken nail with a spell.

-I hate doing this shit –he whispered, more to himself than to her.

-_Dura lex, sed lex. (A.N: the law is tough, but it's the law)._

Astoria loved using Latin expressions. She found that, sometimes, they had a much more accurate meaning than anything else she could say. Draco looked at her with a sudden interest and his lips slightly curved into what could be considered a very feeble smile.

-Yeah, well… _Summum ius, summa inuria. (A.N: supreme justice, supreme injustice)._

Astoria laughed as she turned around and faced her cauldron again. She shook her head, surprised. That was the last thing she had expected. Minutes went by very slowly, and the pile of pots and cauldrons to scrub never really seemed to reduce. Astoria wiped the sweat from her forehead and looked sideways at Draco. She thought it was weird that he had his sleeves rolled down, because his white shirt was getting soaked as he washed and rinsed and scrubbed harder. He noticed she was staring and felt utterly uncomfortable.

-Sorry, I did not remember about… -she nodded towards his arm.

-I really don't want to show it.

-But everyone knows it's there. What's the difference?

-Could we talk about something else, Astoria? –he begged.

She was actually a little shocked that he asked so nicely. She had to admit, a part of her was just trying to bother a rattlesnake to see what it did. Now that she had him standing right next to her, she noticed he was not so menacing with his elbows deep in soap.

-You can always cover it with a tattoo –she suggested.

Draco snorted and opened his mouth to reply, but what could he possibly say? No, thanks, inking my body seems much more repulsive than having it marked by the worst being who ever existed? Instead, he noticed Astoria's left forearm also had a mark on it. Quite different from the one he had, though. It was a phrase. She smirked and extended her arm so he could read it okay. In thin, artistic letters, it read: _Memento mori.(A.N: Remember you're going to die)._

-I guess you thought _Carpe Diem_ was too worn out?

-Exactly. All fucking cults are using it now.

-What's a cult? –Draco frowned.

-You ought to know –she said, sarcastically.

He did not ask again, for she did not seem the type of person who gives further explanations. When he checked the time he realized they still had half an hour left of scrubbing. Astoria saw it and also checked the time, only to curse after. She had better things to do. She dried her hands on her skinny black jeans and sat down on one of the tables. Draco watched her, wondering why she had stopped working. She searched in her back pocket and pulled out her cigarettes and lighter. He observed as she lit one and inhaled deep, closing her eyes in total ecstasy. When she opened her eyes, she saw he was looking at her and offered him one. He hesitated. How ridiculous it was that he would be afraid to try a cigarette after everything he had done. He smelled the air. It smelt kind of acrid, but there was also a sweet scent to it. Like chocolate. He took one of the small black cylinders and put it between his lips. As Astoria lit it up for him, he savoured the filter and found out it not only smelled like chocolate, but also tasted of it. She laughed at his surprised face.

-They're much nicer than normal ones –she licked her lips.

Just when he was beginning to agree with her, Draco swallowed the smoke, since he had never smoked before. Five minutes after he was still red, with tears in his eyes.

-How the fuck can you possibly like this?! –he said.

-It's an acquired taste, I guess –she cracked up.

-That was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted –he stuck his nose up.

-That is quite impressing considering you've fucked both Pansy and my sister.

-You know what, Daphne was actually right. It's hard to believe you're sisters.

-_Deo gratias_ _(A.N: Thank God)_ –she grinned-. Come on, we still have a good twenty minutes to scrub.

Draco groaned but followed her to the sink. His throat still itched from the cigarette, but he felt, if not relieved, a little bit calmer than he had before. It was actually pleasant to spend time with a female that was not trying to seduce him. He was actually happy when she said she would also be there the following night. Obviously, scrubbing cauldrons still sucked, but it did allow him to think and be on his own for a little while every day. Which was something he had actually learnt to appreciate in the two first days of school.


	6. Who was he?

**CHAPTER 6: Who was he?**

Ron Weasley kept his head down the whole day. He did not say a word until the next morning, when Hermione asked him, at the breakfast table:

-How are you feeling, Ron?

-Fine –he said dryly-. And stop asking.

-Well, I'm sorry Mr. Grouchy Pants! Maybe next time you'll keep your mouth shut.

-Oh, so now it's my fault that a dyke kicked me in the face?!

-Would you stop that, Ron? –Neville suddenly interrupted him- Astoria is actually the nicest Slytherin ever. If you hadn't insulted her she would have never hit you.

-Come on, mate, you're only defending her because she's friends with your lunatic girlfriend!

-Luna's not my girlfriend! –Neville hissed- And shut up already, Ron. You're only pissed because a girl beat you up.

-You call that a girl! –Ron yelled.

-Oi, Weasley, if you want some more just say the fucking word! –Astoria screamed back from the other side of the Great Hall.

Ron's eyes shoot daggers at her but his mouth remained shut. Everyone was looking at them, alternately. In the end, Ron looked away and kept eating in silence, which made everyone go back to their own private conversations. Sadly enough, most of those conversations were about Pansy, Draco, and how Astoria had attacked Weasley right after he had tried to hurt Malfoy. In a matter of minutes, half the population in Hogwarts was convinced that Astoria Greengrass was, after all, more similar to Daphne than everyone had thought, and that she was also desperately in love with Draco Malfoy. Oblivious to all this, Astoria finished her huge breakfast and three glasses of pumpkin juice. To someone who did not know her, she could have passed for anorexic. But after seeing her eat nobody considered that option as possible. She ate four times more than the rest of the girls she shared the table with. As she finished her last glass of juice, she noticed Blaise and Draco also observed her from the other end of the table. Uneasy, she raised a hand and made a slight recognition gesture at Draco, who 'waved' back. Not giving it a second thought, she opened her Charms book and started highlighting the sentences she thought more important about unit 1. She failed to notice the several pairs of eyes who had witnessed her gesture and were now convinced that she was another of Draco's admirers.

* * *

-Astoria, we need to talk –Helena grabbed her friend by the arm and led her away, trying to find a discreet spot to tell her what she knew.

-What is it?

-There are rumours going around. You know, about you.

-I know, I know –she rolled her eyes-. Weasley's been calling me a dyke for years, what difference does it make?

-It's not that! They say you and Malfoy have something! And that this is why he didn't want anything with Pansy or Daphne!

-You're… Not… Serious… -her eyes widened in anguish and disgust.

-Like a heart attack!

-Well… There's nothing I can do about it, is it? –Astoria shrugged.

-But… Astoria, do you have any idea what this means? If it gets out of Hogwarts you might get in trouble!

-Then let's make sure it doesn't, okay?!

-Hey, Astoria, have you heard… -Luna appeared out of nowhere and joined them.

-Just did, Luna.

-Is it true?

-Luna, what the hell?!

-Well, I'm just asking… -the blonde shrugged.

-But you were waving at him –Helena pointed out.

-What?

-Before, during breakfast. You waved at him. And he waved back.

-And why the hell would you be staring at the Slytherin table? –Astoria raised an eyebrow.

-Oh, I… -Helena turned pink on her cheeks.

-Riiiight, Zabini… -Astoria grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

-But I thought you didn't want to date him –Luna commented, a little lost.

-That I'm on a diet does not mean I cannot have a look at the menu, Luna. But anyway, don't change the subject, you bitch –she poked Astoria on the stomach with her index finger.

-Yes, I said hi, so what? –the girl rolled her eyes.

-Since when do you say hi to Malfoy?

-I don't know okay? I spent detention with him yesterday and found out he's actually not that bad.

-For a Death Eater –Helena pointed out.

-No, for a Slytherin sex god. –she laughed-. Come on, I'm already late for Potions.

-Be careful, Astoria –Helena warned her, serious all of a sudden.

-Oh, for Merlin's sake… What do you expect me to do with Draco Malfoy? –she made a face.

Astoria had already turned around; it was impossible for her to see the way Luna and Helena gave each other complicity smiles.

* * *

She had just walked into the bathroom. A couple drops of ink had stained her left hand and she thought it was better to try and wash it immediately. As she scrubbed her hand to try to get rid of the marks, she heard the bathroom door open. When she looked up, a pair of furiously green eyes was reflected on the mirror.

-What is it, sis? –she asked, non-chalantly.

Daphne glared at her sister. God, how she hated her. Ever since they were little kids, Astoria had to spoil everything. What was wrong with her, she didn't know, but Daphne was almost sure that Astoria obtained pleasure in hurting her parents by contradicting and disobeying them. Always questioning their ways and ideas, as if she was in favour of muggles instead of wizards. She had been fourteen when she had her first piercing done, on the lip, and ever since, she hadn't stopped mutilating herself. Whenever the Greengrass family was invited to a social gathering, they had to make up excuses for Astoria, for how could they present her with metal rings all over her face and muggle tattoos everywhere else? Everyone knew of her existence, but very few actually knew of her appearance. Looking at her through the mirror, Daphne could see Astoria was not really ugly (she was a Greengrass, after all), but she was, indeed, repulsive.

-There are, like, 300 guys in this school.

-Don't tell me you just realized.

-And you had to sleep with the only one I'm interested in.

-What?! –Astoria squealed, much to her distaste.

-You. Heard. Me –Daphne crossed her arms on her chest.

-I haven't slept with anyone!

-Don't lie to me! Everyone knows it.

-They don't know shit! –Astoria thought she was about to throw up- Nothing happened, I'd never do that!

-Were you or were you not with him last night?!

-Yes, scrubbing cauldrons! –she screamed- For detention!!

-That's not what they say!

-Get out of my way! –Astoria pushed her sister aside and ran out of the bathroom, hyperventilating.

As she ran through the halls she could feel people STARING. It made her extremely uncomfortable, but tried to ignore it until she reached the Slytherin common room. Some people were there, chatting, playing chess or reading. Blaise and Draco sat close to the fireplace, as usual. She walked up to them, enraged.

-You! –she yelled, in a whisper.

Draco looked up at her, and so did Blaise. She had expected to find a pair of high-voltage smirks, but all she found were serious expressions.

-What the hell did you say? –she rambled on, a little taken aback by their gravity.

-I beg your pardon?

-Everyone talks about you and me!

-Oh –he blinked-. Yeah, I'm sorry. It happens.

-It happens? What do you mean, it happens?!

-Well, you don't believe I've slept with all the girls they say, do you?

-Eh… -she switched her weight from one foot to the other.

-Even a Malfoy needs to sleep every now and then, Astoria.

-Look –she raised her hands-, I don't care who you sleep with okay? It's none of my business and I INTEND to keep it that way, so could you please just confirm that the rumour is false?

Draco laughed softly, and Blaise smiled, raising his eyebrows. They did not need to say anything else in order to make Astoria understand they would not get involved.

-God, you're disgusting! I'm asking you to tell the truth, nothing else!

-Why do you even care? –Blaise intervened- Hasn't this boosted up your popularity in Hogwarts?

-You don't understand! –she bent down to look Draco in the eye- Everything needs to go back the way it was before!

-Astoria, I have more important things to discuss right now –he nodded towards Blaise.

-Draco… -her cold hand gripped his arm tightly in a wordless prayer- Please…

If you had asked him, he wouldn't have been able to point out what it was, specifically, what moved him. Maybe it was the way she was desperately holding onto him, or maybe the way that her jet black eyes started watering. Then again, it could have been the fact someone needed him for something. He looked at her for a couple seconds before yelling out loud:

-So you think you can reject me and then ask me to stay friends?!

His frozen tone was enough to make everyone turn around to witness the scene. Mouths were open in disbelief: Astoria Greengrass had rejected Draco Malfoy? Something was horribly wrong with that statement.

-But… I… -she didn't know what to say.

-You made it very clear, Astoria, you don't want anything to do with me. Let's leave it like that. I guess I should have known better.

-Known what? –she frowned.

-Not to hit on a lesbian, duh! –he made a face and then turned around to restart his conversation with Blaise, who gave Astoria a look that could very well mean 'Now would be the right time to get out of here'.

That was definitely better. Judging by the way Slytherins gossiped, in a couple hours everyone would be back to their previous beliefs about her sexuality. As she stepped out of her common room, her pulsations started decreasing their rhythm until they were, once again, back to normal.

* * *

-Hey there, lesbo.

She rolled her eyes at his welcome. His back to her, he was already working on the dirty cauldrons, his shoulders moving rhythmically.

-Ha ha, Malfoy.

-I know it wasn't exactly subtle, but I thought it would be the best thing to do.

-Because you think I'm a lesbian.

-No, because I think you don't want any male specimen approaching you.

As she carefully measured his words, she started working on her pile of pots. She rolled her sleeves up so her 'Memento mori' tattoo was visible again.

-Well, thank you for that. Sorry it ruined your reputation –she chuckled.

-There's not much of it left, anyway. So tell me, who was he?

-Who was who?

-The guy who abused you.

The cauldron she had been scrubbing fell deafeningly against the stone floor, bubbles of soap still forming on its surface once the sound had subsided. He thought it was funny how it had not startled him. Nothing really did startle him, lately.


	7. We're even now

**CHAPTER 7: We're even now. **

Soap and water dripped from her inert arms onto the floor. She was not breathing, nor blinking, nor thinking. As if she was paralyzed. From where he was standing, Draco couldn't see her face; just the long bangs of raven hair covering its side. After a couple seconds, he wondered what the hell he was supposed to do. 'Probably shut up next time', he thought, angry with himself.

-Astoria? –he asked, uncertain.

No answer was heard, and he walked up to her, carefully, until he could actually see her face. Her eyes were transfixed in front of her, empty. Her mouth was closed into a tight line. She looked considerably paler than she had before. He called her name out loud again, a little more preoccupied now. This time, it seemed to cause an effect: she blinked. Once. Twice. Before Draco knew what had happened, her right hand had shot straight up and grabbed him by the collar of his white shirt, pulling him down so his face was in level with hers. He didn't even have the time to say something.

-If you ever –she gave him the most vicious look ever directed at him- say a word about this again, I will sneak into your dorm and kill you in your sleep.

Had it been another student to say that to Draco, he would have simply laughed in their face. He had met Voldemort himself; a threat like that sounded ridiculous to him. Except when Astoria was the one talking. Her black irises were now dull as ever, and she looked like she was about to bare her teeth. Which was not something Draco would have liked to confront. He was not really scared; it took a lot more to scare him nowadays. However, the fact that he knew he had hit the right spot should have made him feel glorious; a smirk should have been on his face. But he just nodded instead. 'What the hell', he thought, 'it's the least I can do'.

With a harsh movement, she let go of his shirt, and dedicated a couple seconds to glare at him while he straightened up again. Damn, she had a temper. She turned her back to him and faced the pile of dirty cauldrons once again. For a moment he thought she would dip her hands in the soapy water as if nothing had happened. But instead, she muttered a curse word (a pretty nasty one, he had to add) and casted a spell to magically clean the recipients. As she walked up to the door, she heard what she already knew was coming:

-You know if you get out of here now he'll know you've used magic.

-Shut up, Malfoy.

-Whatever –he shrugged and went back to work.

A small smile couldn't be prevented once he heard her sit on one of the desks and light a cigarette. The smell of chocolate invaded his nostrils once again and he thought that this time, he preferred enjoying it from a distance. Astoria checked the time and bit her lip. There was still one hour left. After three minutes of silence, she started wondering if Malfoy was simply unconscious of the threat she had given him, for he kept washing and rinsing and scrubbing as if nothing had ever happened.

-What the hell is wrong with you? –she muttered, apparently to herself.

-Come again?

-You act as if everything was alright.

-Everything _is_ alright.

-I just threatened to kill you.

-In the event that I spoke about_ that_ again. There is no possible danger, seeing as I will never bring up the subject.

-Why not? –she frowned. Most people she knew would have killed to know a secret like that.

-Why would I?

She didn't know what to answer. He was actually a very disconcerting character. During all those years, they had probably never crossed more than fifty words. She had been one of his admirer's little sister. A "dikey" little sister, on top of that. Not that he ever paid any attention to her. Or vice versa. Astoria was actually too busy criticising people like him with her friends. Draco embodied all those Slytherin attributes that she found so repulsive. Sure, she was in the same house, and if the Hat had put her there, it was for a reason. She was, after all, sly, cunning, and extremely clever. But she had absolutely no interest in whatever games of power and domination her companions were so fond of.

Eventually, Draco looked at her over his shoulder. She held his stare, impassively. As she exhaled smoke slowly, he smirked, as if saying 'You're not that scary'. She glared at him and watched as he finished rinsing the cauldron he had been scrubbing for the past five minutes. He then proceeded to dry his forearms with some rags that hung from a nail, but since he had not rolled his sleeves up, his shirt was soaked again.

-You should seriously roll them up –she nodded at him-. I know what's there, I'm not going to say anything.

-I really don't think I would feel comfortable, Astoria.

-That is the point, though. You made me feel uncomfortable without reason.

-If I do –he rolled his eyes back-, will you forget I ever mentioned that?

She nodded, a spark in her jet black eyes, which made him sigh and switch his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. His fair blond hair brushed his eyes as he looked down at his forearm. Slowly, he rolled the wet fabric up, until the Dark Mark appeared before their eyes. Astoria's eyes widened at the sight. It was, surprisingly, horrible. She had never seen one before, and always thought it would be just like a tattoo. And had she been a muggle, she would have probably mistaken it for one. But she wasn't. There was something strange about it, a special malignant aura that could not be ignored by any witch or wizard. Suddenly, she understood the reality that haunted every day of Draco's present and future life: he could never again let anyone see it. Nobody would want to work with him, get attached with him or help him. He was a Death Eater, and just like the Marines: once a Death Eater, Death Eater forever. A pang of guilt jabbed her in the stomach and she wished she had never asked him to do that.

-Satisfied? –he asked.

-I guess…

- I still think it's more discreet than your dragon –he joked.

She laughed, and a puff of smoke escaped her lips. She reached into her jeans' pocket and handed him the packet of cigarettes. He looked at it, hesitatingly. She shook it, insisting for him to take one. Eventually, he gave up and tried to hold one of the slim black cylinders as gracefully as she did. It was probably the only thing she ever did with elegance.

-We're even now –she sentenced, as her lighter burnt the tip of Draco's cigarette.

He sat next to her, and rested one foot against the desk in front of him. She tried to imitate him, but failed; her legs were way too short. His chuckling elicited a glare from her, which quickly faded away. After a minute, he could inhale without coughing his lungs out, and thought that, even though the taste was quite revolting, smoking wasn't so bad. It helped pass the time.

* * *

A few weeks passed. Everything seemed to go back to normal, and the year was more or less similar to the past ones. Astoria and Draco never talked again since her second detention. They were supposed to ignore each other, after she had supposedly rejected him; but the truth was, they didn't have much to talk about, anyway. Astoria had regained her status as 'Major Slytherin Dike' in the eyes of most people at Hogwarts, which was actually satisfying enough for her. As long as no one got close enough, she was fine. She had been a little concerned at first about Draco blabbering her secret away, but, since she had never really confirmed it, after a couple days she realized he wouldn't tell anyone. Well, maybe Zabini. But Zabini was usually as discreet as a mouse, nothing to worry about. It was, nonetheless, uncomfortable, to find him in the hallways or the common room.

That was the first weekend at Hogsmeade. Luna, Helena and Astoria enjoyed it thoroughly. Luna bought half of Honeydukes. Helena insisted on scanning every clothing store in the town, and, obviously, ended up carrying several pairs of bags during the rest of the trip. Afterwards, though, it was Astoria's time to make her friends suffer, and dragged them to a music store where she talked about bands and styles and metal for what seemed like hours. She was mostly into muggle bands, which didn't make it any easier for her friends to understand what she talked about.

In the pub, with their butter beers in front of them, they warmed up and talked about everything they had bought. Helena displayed in front of them several items which Astoria found morally reprehensible: high heels, red lipstick, lacy thongs… She enjoyed tormenting Helena about her tastes, and she suspected Helena actually liked upsetting her by showing her new acquisitions. As she had feared, the never-ending subject came up.

-So, do you girls have any dates for the Ball? –Helena asked, taking a sip from her butter beer.

-What Ball?

-The Christmas Ball, Astoria. The one we're supposed to attend every year since we started first grade?

-Oh –she grunted-. That one. Yeah, I'm going with Cormac McLaggen, didn't you know?

-Oh, I don't think that's a very wise choice, Astoria… -Luna said- Apparently he gets pretty sticky with girls.

-Luna –she glared at her-, I was _joking_.

Helena laughed at both their faces. Very rarely did Luna get Astoria's sarcasms, and it was very funny watching those moments.

-Do you have a date, Lena?

-You know I don't date. But… They'll all wish I did when they see my new dress –she snickered like a little girl.

-God, you're a bitch… -Astoria shook her head and laughed- What about you, Luna?

-Well… I don't have a date yet.

-Do you have anyone in mind? –she gave Helena a mischievous look- Like… I don't know… Neville, for instance?

-Oh, I don't know… -Luna turned red on the cheeks.

-He hasn't asked you, yet?

-No.

-Maybe you should ask him –Helena nodded-. He's a tad too shy to do it himself.

-Or maybe he just doesn't like me at all.

-Are you kidding, Luna?! Come on, let's ask him –Astoria turned around and yelled- Oi, Neville!

Neville had been sitting with some Gryffindors, including the Golden Trio. Everyone looked at her as she motioned for him to walk over to their table. Hesitatingly, he did.

-Hey, girls. How are you?

-Fine! –both Helena and Astoria sang at the same time.

-So, Neville, I was wondering… -Luna looked down at her shoes.

-Actually, Neville, she was wondering if you were going to ask her to the dance.

-Astoria! –Luna became as red as Neville.

-Oh, I, uhm… -he seemed to become smaller by the second- Well, yeah, I was actually going to ask before, but you girls never leave her alone.

Both girls laughed as loud as they could. Luna's eyes widened, in surprise and delight. Neville's eyes were suddenly glued to the tip of his sneakers. Astoria moved a little to her side so Neville could sit in front of Luna, and patted the seat, inviting him to do so. He sat down, still flushed.

-So –he cleared his throat-, Luna, will you be my date for the Ball?

-Sure, Neville –she smiled-. I'd love to.

Neville smiled back and sighed, relieved. The four of them made a toast for the Ball, and drank their butter beers.

-Hey, Neville! –Weasley called from his table- What are you doing mate?

-I'm just… Talking –he raised an eyebrow.

-You don't sit next to filthy Slytherins.

-Fuck off, Weasley! –Helena yelled at him, slamming her glass down on the table.

-Oh, how cute, the dykes defending each other! –Ron screamed right back.

By then, the whole pub was staring at them. Harry held Ron's arm, and tried to tell him, without words, to shut the fuck up. Hermione glared at him; she was not very fond of Astoria, but knew it was better not to mess with her. Astoria nodded towards the door and her friends got up to leave the pub. Everything would have been more or less alright if Ron hadn't insisted on making comments about the girls' sexuality as they walked out.

-Ron, shut up! –Neville said, astonishingly.

-You know, what, Lestrange should have killed you instead of your brother –Astoria said, calmly, as she stepped out of the pub-. Fred was a thousand times better than you.

Ron froze in his seat and silence overcame the place as the girls walked out. Astoria was about to light a cigarette when someone shoved her hard against the wall. She had to admit, Ron Weasley was kind of big. Especially compared to her.

-Don't you fucking dare talk about my brother! –he yelled in her face.

Out of nowhere, a pair of hands grabbed Ron's shoulders and pulled him off her as the other two girls screamed bloody murder. Zabini faced Ron with a completely peaceful expression on his face, as if he was playing chess instead of starting a fight.

-Leave her alone –he said, with a face-. God, Weasley, why don't you pick on someone your own size?

-Like you?

-Now that you mention it… -he smiled.

-Where's your boyfriend? You're not going to fight me all by yourself, are you? –Ron spat, venomously.

-Not really. I bet Astoria here could take care of you. Like she did last time.

By then, most Hogwarts students had left the pub, anxious to watch another fight starring Ronald Weasley and Astoria Greengrass. Astoria smirked at Blaise's words and Ron's embarrassment. Everyone remembered how she had kicked him in the face at the beginning of the semester. Hermione started tugging at her boyfriend's shirt. No one had ever seen Zabini fighting, and she preferred it that way. Eventually, Ron looked away from Blaise's smiling face and snorted.

-Go fuck yourself –he whispered, almost inaudibly, before walking away.

-You alright? –Blaise asked Astoria once everyone was gone.

-Yes. Not like I couldn't handle him myself.

-I never said you couldn't –he smiled.

Slowly, she forced herself to smile back at him. They had never been close or anything, but Blaise had been one of the most supportable Slytherins ever. He was calm and never spoke too much, which was very rare amongst their house's students. She looked around for Draco, but he wasn't there. Which was quite weird, since lately he had been clinging onto Blaise for dear life.

-I get the feeling you're going to need help carrying all those bags –Zabini directed at Helena his electric smile.

-Thanks, Blaise, but I'm okay –Helena smiled brightly as ever-. Astoria and Luna here can help me.

-You're going to deny me the pleasure of your company? –he raised an eyebrow.

-Of course not –she laughed-. You can come along as long as you don't try to carry my bags for me or buy me drinks or open doors for me.

-Well, if I might say a word… -Astoria grinned evilly at her friend- I'd much rather have Blaise carrying your new high heels and lace lingerie.

Helena's glare was enough to shut her up, but the grin remained plastered on her face for hours. Blaise's face went red as he couldn't help trying to peek into the bags Helena was carrying.

-Don't even think about it –she said, between her teeth.

A couple laughter fits after, they started heading towards Hogwarts. Zabini told them he had been by himself during the whole day, and after that Helena couldn't refuse to accept him into their group. Eventually, he convinced her to carry two of the bags, so everyone would be carrying the same amount.

-Geez, I'm starting to get in touch with my feminine side… -he whined.

-That's funny, huh, Astoria? Two dykes and a fag –Helena joked.

-Hey, what am I? –Luna complained, as she swung Helena's bags back and forth.

-Uh… Neville-sexual, I guess –Astoria confirmed.

Two of the girls laughed. One boy's eyes went wide as windows and the other girl went red and didn't speak for the rest of the day.


	8. Midnight encounters

**CHAPTER 8: Midnight encounters. **

Draco wasn't there at dinner time either. Blaise sat by himself, and Astoria, for a moment, hesitated. She could sit right next to her sister, like she always did, not out of affection, but out of habit. But she decided she didn't feel like it, that night. Blaise seemed surprised when she sat in front of him, but accepted her gesture with a warm smile. Half the people at the other end of the table stared at her.

-Maybe that wasn't the smartest of moves… -he commented.

-Pff… Who gives a fuck –she started eating at her normal speed-. By the way, mate…

-Yes?

-Thanks. You know, for saving my arse before.

-But I thought you could handle him all by yourself… -he smirked.

-Well, to tell the truth… He's grown up since last year –she smiled slightly-. The first time I caught him off guard.

-It was still awesome –Zabini nodded.

-Thanks –she laughed-. So, where's Malfoy? I haven't seen him all day.

-He had to go somewhere.

-Okay.

-You're not going to ask anything else?

-No. Why would I?

-Uhm… Let me see… -he propped himself on his elbows and took a look at her chest- Yes, you do have tits.

She smacked him on the forehead, playfully, and thanked God that no one had heard that. If they had, her reputation as frozen-hearted Marine would have shaken.

-So, tell me… Does Helena like me?

-I don't know.

-Come on, you must know something… -he poked her foot with his under the table- Am I attractive enough for her? –he made a funny face.

-You're attractive enough for Gisele Bundchen, mate.

-Who's that? –he frowned.

-A very hot muggle model.

-Wow. Was that a compliment? Miss Greengrass, I'm appalled!

-Okay, no more talking about Helena. Sorry, missed your chance –she shrugged.

-Oi, come on! Tell me!

-Mmm… Nope –she grinned.

-Has she said anything about me?

-Yes, yes, she has said things about you! –Astoria rolled her eyes- She thinks you're hot, like the rest of the female population in the school. But if you want my honest opinion, don't expect anything from her.

-Why not?

-Well… I've known her for six years and all she does is talk about guys… But she has never dated one. And by dated I mean, nothing. Zero –she raised one eyebrow-. If you know what I mean.

-Are you serious? A woman that gorgeous!

Astoria sighed. If only a guy would ever say something like that about her. 'Oh, God. I did not just think that!'. But she had.

-So Cormac was lying?

-Cormac? –she squinted.

-Last year he said they had… You know.

-What? McLaggen?? Ew!! He wishes…

Blaise shrugged and they stayed in silence for a couple minutes, until a loud splashing sound was heard from the other side of the Great Hall. As Zabini turned around, smiling already, he confirmed his suspicions when he saw Cormac McLaggen covered in pumpkin juice, looking around for the guilty wand like a maniac. Laughter filled the room, and nobody noticed how Astoria put her wand back in her pocket.

* * *

-Goodnight, Astoria –Pansy said, as she drew the curtains around her bed.

-Goodnight –it was kind of funny how her own sister wouldn't say anything but Pansy always said _hello_, _thanks_ and _goodnight_.

She hadn't even rested her head on her pillow when she realized she had left her Potions book in the common room. With a groan, she got up and left the dorm, as quietly as possible, so she wouldn't wake anyone up. When she walked into the common room, she noticed someone had left the fireplace burning, and walked over there with her book under her arm to put out the fire. She hadn't seen Draco sitting right in front of it, staring into the flames with vacant eyes. She gasped and dropped her book on the carpet, which was fortunately thick enough to muffle the sound.

-For fuck's sake, Malfoy, you scared the shit out of me…

Draco did not answer. He didn't take his eyes off the fire either. Astoria frowned and realized something was wrong. His face was stone-like, his breathing inaudible; but his fingers clawed the seat's arms so tight his knuckles were white. She placed a hand on his arm, hesitatingly.

-Draco? –she called his name, softly.

She felt the tendons in his arm tense up at her touch, but that was the only apparent change he experienced. She called him again, and this time, he blinked. She knelt to be on eye level, and felt like he was looking right through her. He was somewhat conscious of her presence there, because she heard him whisper two words.

-Get. Blaise.

-Alright, don't worry, I'll go get him right now –she rambled, confused.

She ran toward the boys' dorms and knocked on the first door she found. A grumpy third grader opened the door and stared at her while rubbing his left eye with his fist.

-Where does Zabini sleep? –she asked, harshly.

-Geez, I thought you were a lesbian…

-You're one word away of getting your balls cut off. What is Zabini's room?!

-Last door at your left… -the boy closed the door, suddenly in a rush.

She knocked loudly on that door. Another guy opened, a seventh grader this time. He looked down at her with antipathy and raised one questioning eyebrow.

-I have to talk to Blaise.

-He's sleeping now.

-Wake him up, then.

The guy snorted and started closing the door, but she kicked it open. Fortunately enough, she had put on her boots before going to the common room. The guy held back a scream.

-What the hell are you doing?!

Two other guys stared at her from their respective beds, from under their respective blankets. She recognized the black mass of hair and pointed at him:

-Zabini. Out. Now.

Blaise blinked a couple times but noticed how serious she was. He jumped off the bed at once and followed her outside, not even bothering to put on any extra clothes. She almost had a stroke when she turned around and found he was just wearing black pyjama pants which hung kind of low.

-What is it?

-It's Malfoy; he's in the common room. I found him sitting the- Hey!

Blaise started running cutting her off at midsentence. She followed him into the common room and watched him talk to Draco, shaking him softly. Slowly, Draco started reacting and responding to Blaise's actions. Astoria observed them, feeling extremely uncomfortable to be witnessing the kind of intimacy both friends shared.

-Astoria –Blaise called her.

She approached them, dubitatively. Draco had thrown his arms around Blaise's neck. It wasn't a hug, it was as if he was just trying to hold onto someone. Over Draco's fair –haired head, Blaise looked at the girl:

-Stay with him for a while. I need to go get something.

-O… Okay –she nodded, while gulping.

Not without effort did Blaise manage to get Draco off him. She tried to keep her eyes off his body. Not like she was attracted towards him (not at all). But she had to admit he looked like a Calvin Klein model. She heard Draco whimper and occupied the place Blaise had been filling: kneeling in front of Draco, trying to calm him down. She guessed he would not try to touch her, but she guessed wrong. His breath started speeding up, and she was horrified to discover he was starting to have a panic attack. She started worrying seriously when he brought his hands to his head and pulled his hair. That was not very Malfoy-like. She placed her hands on his arms and tried to make him stop, murmuring soothing words. Finally, he lowered his arms and looked her in the eye for the first time, acknowledging her presence. All of a sudden, his eyes didn't seem as metallic as usual.

Blaise couldn't help but snicker at Astoria's expression. It seemed as if she had just seen a ghost. Draco clung onto her as he had held onto Blaise. Her black eyes had never been that wide. Seeing as Draco was a little bit calmer, Blaise forced him to lean back and get off her. He looked confused.

-There you go –Blaise unwrapped a piece of dark chocolate and broke it into little pieces.

He tried to shove it into Draco's mouth, but the blond refused. Blaise grunted and held him by the jaw with his left hand as he forced him to eat a piece of chocolate. Draco chewed as if it was raw steak. Once he was done, he looked a little better. He breathed out, exhausted. Blaise sighed and wiped Draco's bottom lip with his thumb, absent-mindedly. Astoria saw it. She saw how Draco snapped out of his slumber and stared at his friend, and how Blaise's eyes widened in sudden realization and his hand withdrew rapidly. For a moment, she thought they were involved. And then she saw the immense sadness in both pairs of eyes, grey and brown and discarded the thought. Blaise rested his chin on his fist, observing Draco. Once he was convinced he could survive without him, he looked at Astoria, who still felt like she should have not been there.

-Could you watch him for a while? I gotta go to bed.

-Uh… Sure… -she nodded, uncomfortable.

She got the feeling Blaise needed to stay away from Draco for a little while. The boy placed a hand on her shoulder and gave Draco a very meaningful look before leaving. She bit her lip and approached Draco, as she heard Blaise's footsteps fading away in the corridors. She took a chair and dragged it until she could sit in front of Draco. She did not feel like kneeling on the floor again. Of course she was not the first Slytherin girl to get on her knees in front of him, but she had absolutely no interest in repeating the action. Pansy and Daphne could take care of that matter themselves. She sat in front of him and observed him for a second: he was looking at the flames once again, but not with the insane fixation he had before.

-Why the chocolate? –she asked, when she thought he looked conscious enough.

-It's the dementors. Chocolate makes it easier.

-The dem-? Oh, you went to Azkaban, didn't you?

Draco nodded weakly.

-You went to see your parents?

-Yes –he ran his hands across his face-. And I'm not setting foot in there ever again

-But... They're your parents...

-No, they're not. They're just walking corpses now.

Astoria bit her lip with force. What could she possibly say to comfort him? She had heard horrible stories about the place and the creatures that supervised it. And to think she had been buying CDs while he went through that horrific experience. For the first time in her life, she pitied Draco Malfoy.

-Go to bed, Astoria. I'll be fine.

-But Blaise said...

-I'll be fine –he glared at her.

-Don't give me that look! –she gave him the stink eye- I'm just trying to help.

-If you want to help, leave me alone.

-I will once I make sure you're going to be alright.

Draco snorted angrily. That was the last thing he needed; but she seemed determined to stay and babysit him. Fortunately, nobody else came along. That would have been too much. They sat in silence, observing each other, until Draco had to laugh.

-God, you're annoying.

-Well, if I left you here alone and tomorrow they found you hung from a lamp Blaise would rip me a new one... –she grinned.

-Yeah... –he sighed- Good old Blaise...

-By the way, uh... –she felt awkward just asking- What's up with Blaise? I mean-

-I know what you mean and that is none of our business. If he ever wants to talk to you about it, fine. But don't bring it up.

-Okay... –she frowned.

-I'm afraid I've been clinging onto him a little too much –Draco said-. The poor kid needs a bit of space.

-Yeah, looks like it –she nodded.

-Sometimes I think he's too good for Slytherin.

-Yeah –she snorted-. Tell me about it.

-That's true –he smiled half-heartedly-. You're not a very typical Slytherin girl.

-Why? Because I don't wear my thong up to my ears? –she rolled her eyes, eliciting a soft laugh from Draco.

-I guess you could say that.

-I should have been in Ravenclaw. Everyone thinks so. But apparently I'm not smart enough.

-Who cares about what a stupid hat thinks?

Astoria laughed. He had to admit, he was staring to like their neutral conversations. It gave him a break from his usual routine and also helped him to not annoy Blaise so much. God knew the kid deserved a break every once in a while. On the other hand, she was fairly surprised to find out he was actually kind of nice when his defences were down. She told him about her day at Hogsmeade, trying to distract him from the memories of Azkaban. When she got to the part containing Weasley, he sighed:

-I'm afraid I finished a rumour by starting a new one.

-It's okay, I don't mind.

-What kind of girl doesn't mind being called a lesbian?

-Ehrm… A lesbian? –she laughed.

-Oh! –his eyes widened- I'm sorry!

She laughed out loud, amused by his sudden reaction, and shook her head.

-I'm not really a lesbian –she grinned-. But your face was priceless.

-Ha ha. Very funny, Greengrass.

-No, but seriously, I don't care about what people think of me.

-Then why did you get so pissed when they thought we had something?

-Mathematics, Malfoy. If the Slytherin Sex God had done it with me, then all the other idiots trying to be you would have tried to follow your example.

-'Other idiots' implies I'm the primary idiot, doesn't it?

-Well, when you're in 'Sex God mode', yeah.

-What mode am I in now? –he laughed.

-Uhm… 'Cry-baby mode'? –she moved away when he tried to poke her with his foot as punishment.

-No, seriously, you don't feel threatened by me?

-Not really.

-At all? –he raised an eyebrow.

She shook her head no, knowing the direction he was driving the conversation towards. Very subtle, very Slytherin-like.

-I thought that maybe after… You know… -he waved his hand.

-You're the last guy I'd be worried about.

-How come? –the idea of a woman finding him inoffensive was a new concept to him.

-You can have any girl you want. It's not like I have to worry.

-Besides, I get the feeling you could kick my arse for trying anything with you.

-Well, yeah… Weasley is definitely bigger than you.

-For both our sakes, I'll pretend that sentence didn't have a double meaning.

She frowned, confused. It took her a while to get it, and when she did, she snapped:

-Ew!! That's disgusting!

Draco laughed at her offended reaction. She shook her head violently.

-Never again mention something like that! I have a very visual mind and there are things I cannot help picturing!

-So I guess tonight you're going to be dreaming about a certain naked redhead? –he grinned wide. Astoria glared at him viciously.

-Since it looks like you can take care of yourself, I'll be going to bed –she got up-. If I have nightmares tonight, it's your entire fault.

-My bad –he held up one hand-. Goodnight, Astoria.

-Goodnight, Draco.

He watched her leave and sighed, relieved somehow. Blaise had left the chocolate there, and he finished the remaining pieces. It was very dark and bitter, but it did suffocate his anguish a little bit. He snuggled into the comfortable arm chair and thought he was probably going to spend another night in the common room. By the fireplace.


	9. Nightmares

**CHAPTER 9: Nightmares. **

Elizabeth Greengrass was never very affectionate. She was not the type of woman who can forget about manners and play with her children as if she was one of them. She was a high society heiress, not a nanny. Growing up, Daphne did not have many problems with her, since she was the exact copy of what Elizabeth had once been. Her mother took pleasure in modelling her to become a perfect socialite. However, Astoria wasn't as lucky as her sister: being less attractive, she was supposed to make up for it by acquiring exquisite manners and landing a rich husband who would want to pass for a philanthropic benefactor. That was not the case, and she started behaving as a boy the second she started walking. Elizabeth's disappointment was no secret; neither was her husband William's. Neither of them had a good relationship with Astoria, and focused all of their efforts on Daphne, giving up on the younger girl. Astoria pretended to stop caring about this when she was ten. As thirteen, she found out she had been fooling herself.

It was Daphne's fourteenth birthday, and Astoria, annoyed that no one would pay attention to her and all eyes were set on her sister and her beautiful crème-coloured dress, left the party and went upstairs, to her room. She soon found out someone _had_ been paying attention to her, and she wished otherwise the second her uncle Philip closed the door behind him. She only screamed once; but downstairs, Daphne had just blown the fourteen candles on her cake and the sound of clapping suffocated the only chance Astoria had to get any help.

Once the party was over and all the guests were gone, Astoria tried to explain, between sobs, what had happened. Elizabeth and William listened in silence after telling Daphne to go to her room. They did not react until Astoria pulled down her turtleneck's collar to reveal the already-forming bruises around her scrawny neck. In that precise moment, her father shot up and slapped her hard with the back of his hand. His wedding ring busted Astoria's lip. Out of shock, she didn't say anything else. The only thing she heard her father say was:

-Make sure you wear turtlenecks until the bruises fade away. And stay away from my brother.

Blood dripped from her face onto her chest. She felt the fabric dampen against her skin and tried to say something but she couldn't articulate a single word. She looked at her mother, but the green eyes escaped the contact.

-Go wash yourself –she heard her say.

That night, Astoria positioned herself in front of her mirror with a sharp pair of scissors and cut her blond wavy hair short. She left the fringe as it was and cut out the rest. Once she was done, she threw the locks of hair in the toilet and flushed, without any remorse. Nobody said anything when they saw her the next morning, although her father looked ready to smack her again. When she got the chance to, she performed a spell to change her hair colour: it became jet black, much to her mother's dismay. No matter how much she tried to convince her to change it back to blond, how many times she casted a spell herself, Astoria would always turn it black. When Elizabeth threatened to shave it all off her head, Astoria laughed in her face. In that moment, the woman realized her daughter was gone. Completely. Not that she had ever had much interest in her, but it was nonetheless excruciating to see someone taint the family name like that. In a matter of months, Astoria had her lip pierced for the first time, and she was therefore excluded from any social event. From that moment on, she fell in a spiral of self-destruction that no one really tried to stop. Daphne never knew the reasons why her sister became her exact nemesis. It was too late already, and they had grown apart too long ago.

* * *

Uncle Philip's eyes had been green. Just like most of the Greengrass members'. Except for hers. Maybe that was the way nature had of apologizing for putting her into such a dysfunctional family. She woke up early, wrapped in damp sheets. Her cold sweat stuck to her and she decided a warm shower was the correct course of action. Before getting dressed, she observed herself in the bathroom mirror, and contorted so she could get a view of her back dragon tattoo from different angles. It was awesome. She smiled at the sight of it, feeling a little bit calmer after her nightmares. At breakfast, she looked around for her friends and waved hello at Luna and Helena, who were already sitting at the Ravenclaw table. When she got to the Slytherin table, her sister glared at her as a way of saying hi. Astoria rolled her eyes back and said hello to Pansy. She was, inexplicably, the only Slytherin girl she could more or less tolerate. Pansy smiled at her and Astoria wondered if she should sit by her side. But then she saw Blaise sitting at the end of the table, all by himself, and she decided to go sit with him. The guy looked tattered.

-Hey, Blaise. You alright? –she asked.

He didn't answer, just nodded. She started biting on one of her nails as she observed him. He didn't look back at her.

-If you want me to go, I'll go –she said.

-No, it's fine –he gave her a horribly forced smile-. I'm fine.

-You sure about that?

A sad smile spread across Blaise's features as he nodded once more. Astoria was not the brightest witch of her generation (the title was reserved for Granger), but she was definitely not stupid, and she could tell something was going on with Blaise and Draco. She just didn't know if she wanted to know any further details.

-I know what you're thinking.

-Do you?

-Yes. And the answers are: no, we're not together; no, he's not gay; no, I'm not gay.

-Then the problem is…? –she served herself a pile of pancakes and started munching compulsively.

He watched her eat in silence, leaving her question lingering in the air. His face resting against his closed fist, he couldn't help but smile.

-You eat a fucking lot.

-What's your point? –she said, although, with her mouth full, she sort of pronounced it like 'wasyopong?'.

-I bet your sister hates you for staying so skinny eating this much.

-My sister hates me for many reasons, mate –she swallowed-. So, where's he?

-He didn't feel so hot. McGonagall excused him for today.

-I guess he had a good reason to feel sick –she shrugged-. That must be awful.

-Thanks for staying with him last night.

-No worries.

-I'm sorry I ran away like that.

-It's alright, we had a couple laughs.

-Yeah, he's a party animal –he said, sarcastically.

-So, can I ask you something? –Astoria was careful.

-Shoot –Blaise already knew what was coming.

-What's going on between you two? I believe you when you say you're not gay because you have fucked more chicks than Gene Simmons.

Blaise laughed, although he didn't know who that Simmons guy was. A sigh escaped his lips. He guessed he could trust Astoria, alright. Not like she had many friends to talk about this.

-Promise me nobody will hear a word of this.

-Done –she nodded.

-How to begin? –he exhaled heavily, as if he was exhausted- I don't like guys. Okay? I don't feel attracted to men, whatsoever. I like women.

-I get the point –she said, sarcastically.

-But…

-It's different with Draco, isn't it? –she lowered her voice.

-Yes. Ever since we were kids. I really don't know how to explain, Astoria. You must think I'm sick.

-Do I look like the kind of person who judges others by their sexuality? –she snorted.

-That's the problem, though! I'm not gay. At all. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

-Are you sure you're not just confusing friendship with…?

-No. I'm positive this is different. And the worst part is that Draco is fully conscious of this.

-Yeah, I kind of got the vibe.

-And I feel bad because I know he feels bad, because he needs me to be there and I try, but… I want to be his friend, but it's killing me.

-And you've never talked about this with him?

-There's no need to. He knows what's going on.

-What if he felt something similar? –she tried to reason, but was too confused.

Blaise shook his head and she desisted from asking any more questions. What she had been told was disconcerting enough. All of her suspicions from last night had been confirmed: okay, they weren't gay but their relationship was not 'usual'.

-I need to ask you a favour, Astoria.

-What is it?

-And I need you to do it.

-Sure, mate.

-If one day I cannot take it anymore, please, promise me you won't leave him alone.

-What do you mean, if you can't take it anymore? –her eyes widened.

-I'm not as strong-minded as he is. And I get the feeling you're the same type. One day I might be too selfish and get away from him.

-Why do you think that? –she frowned, suddenly concerned about Blaise.

-He needs me. But it hurts too fucking much.

-Blaise…

-I'm not saying this day will come. Maybe it will never come. But, just in case.

-You have my word.

-Good –he took a sip of his juice-. Jesus Christ, how can human minds be so fucked up?

-_Ignoramos et ignorabimus (A.N. we ignore it and we will ignore it)_ –she grinned.

-Yeah, well… -he shrugged- Whatever you just said.

Astoria smiled at him and then realized what she had just done. Blaise had never been one of her closest people. To say he was just someone she knew was more accurate, and in a matter of weeks they had achieved the status of intimate friends, him telling her about all that mess in his head. She knew he would eventually lead her to trouble, mostly including Malfoy, but when she met his chocolate-coloured eyes and sensed the warm gratitude in them, she tossed all doubts aside. 'Alea Iacta Est' was the only thing she was able to think.


	10. The poor idiot

**CHAPTER 10: The poor idiot. **

Astoria didn't say anything about Draco and Blaise to her friends. She would have killed to explain them everything that had happened, but she never, ever, no matter what, broke a promise. She started sitting by their side during meals, which both guys seemed keen on. Astoria somehow relieved them of their respective duties towards each other. She was breath of fresh air between them. And they both silently thanked her for it. Luna and Helena had of course, noticed her recent closeness with the guys and asked her about it, to which she just answered with boring excuses. That was the only time when she went along with them, the rest of the day was dedicated to her Ravenclaw friends. It was kind of awkward, though, because Helena kept asking her questions about Blaise. Questions that she didn't know the answer to. Astoria did not exactly know if it was correct from her to let her friend interest herself in someone like Blaise. Never mind the assortment of explanations he offered her to make clear he was not gay, he was, indeed, very distressed with everything that was going on in his head, and probably not the best company she would want her friend to seek.

-Do you think Blaise will ask me to the dance? –she asked her one afternoon.

-I thought you never dated –Luna replied, in a good-humoured tone.

-I wouldn't accept –Helena grinned-. But it would be flattering.

-I wouldn't count on it, Lena –Astoria said, seriously-. I don't think he even remembers there's a Ball coming up.

-It's alright, though. He'll regret it later on.

Astoria laughed and shook her head in disbelief at her friend's self-confidence. Helena was not exactly arrogant like Slytherin girls usually were. She certainly had the looks to behave like a queen bee, but she was more of an outcast than she seemed at first sight. Average matters like popularity, beauty, competition, etc. were out of her interest. Most people wondered what the hell she did sticking with weirdoes like Luna Lovegood and Astoria Greengrass; but once they got to know her a little bit, they found out she was equally freaky.

-What are you girls going to wear? –she tucked a chocolate-coloured wave behind her ear.

-My yellow dress! –Luna smiled. She only had one good dress, and everyone hated it. Being pale and blonde was not the best match for yellow, but she failed to notice any given attempt to tell her how bad she looked in it. Somehow, though, Helena and Astoria were sure Neville wouldn't mind it at all.

-I might wear my new Delacroix. That's only if I can find stilettos to match it.

-What colour is it? –Helena raised an eyebrow at Astoria.

-Why, pastel pink, Miss Bennett, of course! –Astoria placed her hand on her chest and pretended as if she was offended by Helena's scepticism.

The three girls laughed. Every year, at the Ball, Astoria wore the ugliest clothes she could find. Assistance was mandatory, and her personal way of expressing disagreement with the established rules involved the use of black lipstick and leather pants.

-You know I can always lend you something more appropriate –Helena said-. If you change your mind at the last minute.

-Why on Earth would I want to dress nice? –she made a face.

-Uh, I don't know… Maybe now that you're getting so close to Draco you want to impress him or something –Lena smirked evilly.

-Argh.

-That would surely finish your sister off. Can you imagine?

-Wait… That's actually a good idea. I might consider it –Astoria nodded.

-What, seducing Draco Malfoy?

-Fine, it sounds really weird. But I would have loved to see Daphne's face.

-If she still had any after scratching it off with her nails.

-You girls are definitely mean –Luna shook her head, eliciting chuckles form the other two girls.

* * *

It was Potions class, and Professor Slughorn kept writing on the blackboard and explaining his theories, keeping his back to the class. Obviously, not many people were following his discourse. Draco hissed the second time Daphne passed him a note. Without even bothering to read it, he tossed it aside with a very clear gesture, hoping she would get the point for once in her pathetic life. Blaise rolled his eyes but said nothing. From the other end of the class, Pansy Parkinson was glaring at her ex-best friend with hate. Draco had seen it, and he still could not figure out how the hell Pansy still gave a fuck about him, after everything he had done to her. She was definitely much more stupid than he ever thought. Drifting away from Slughorn's explanation, he started thinking of everything that was going on in his life. His main preoccupation was, of course, the state of his parents. Unfortunately, it did not seem something he could take care of. There was absolutely no way he could find a way to help, and the pain of knowing so was horribly excruciating for him. He thought of the last time he had gone to Azkaban to see them. Lucius had walked in first, and Draco could still see a shadow of what his father had been in the figure standing in front of him. Lucius Malfoy was not completely broken. A tiny twinkle of hope lit up inside of him, but it quickly faded away when his mother walked in. Narcissa was no longer the vivacious, beautiful woman he remembered. She was, instead, a random body with random eyes that couldn't even recognize her son.

Then, of course, was the fact that he had become _persona non-grata_ in 99 % of the magic world. His last name weighted down on him like a stone. And he was conscious he would pay for his family's actions during the rest of his insignificant life. For a moment, he wished Snape's plan had failed. He wished he could have killed Dumbledore. If so, then Potter would have probably annihilated him as vengeance. Or he would have suffered the dementors' kiss and would not be able to feel anything else anymore. That would have been nice. And he wouldn't be a burden for Blaise anymore. Draco felt extremely guilty. And extremely weak. But he couldn't help hanging onto Blaise, even if he guessed how painful that was for his friend. He had known for years that Blaise felt something for him. Something that could not be treated openly as normal friendship. It did not exactly bother him; but it was, indeed, problematic. Every time he saw how Blaise suppressed one of his impulses towards him, Draco felt like a complete manipulator. He had, of course, given him hints of his total heterosexuality, but somehow, he knew it was not enough. And to know he was hurting the only friend he had left was awful.

-Psst!

He rolled his eyes. Daphne was on a roll that day. Blaise gave him a sympathetic look before purposely ignoring Daphne. But they both knew she wouldn't give up so easily. At the end of the class, she pushed in front of Blaise to face Draco.

-Are you going to ignore me forever? –she crossed her arms on her chest.

-I wouldn't even dream of such felicity, Daphne –he smiled dangerously.

-Well… Fine –she frowned, confused-. Because I want to talk to you. I need to know what you're going to wear.

-What?!

-At the Ball –she rolled her eyes-. I have to get a dress that matches.

-The Ball? –it sounded like a profanity, coming out of his lips- What fucking Ball?

-The Ball we have every year at Hogwarts –she snorted-. You know, the one you said you'd take me to.

-I said that? –he gave a questioning look at Blaise, but his friend simply shrugged.

-Last year, remember? –she raised an eyebrow.

-Not really. Oh, wait. I think I do.

-Okay… -she smiled.

-You made me say it while I was fucking you, didn't you? –he said in a voice loud enough so the rest of the class could hear.

-Shh! –her eyes widened in anger.

-You should have known I wasn't being rational back then, Daphne –he laughed at her face as he picked up his books from the table and started walking towards the door.

-Rational? –she stuttered.

-Well, nobody rational could fuck you, sweetheart.

The class filled up with gasps, which were immediately followed by exploding fits of laughter. Daphne just stood there, feeling how everyone around her was laughing at her, with her fists closed tight.

-Boy, you're fucked… -she muttered to herself.

* * *

-Mister Malfoy –he recognized her cold voice instantly.

-Yes, Minerva? –he turned around.

-Please come to my office. There are some matters I'd like to discuss with you.

Blaise and Draco exchanged concerned looks. Minerva didn't wait for an answer, as she started heading towards her office. Once she was out of hearing range, Blaise elbowed him on the side.

-Sounds to me like she wants some action –he grinned.

-Mate, if she was fifty years younger and I was fifty years older…

They laughed at the same time. Draco shook his head and patted his friend on the back before following Minerva's steps. Blaise watched him walk away, until he turned right and left his vision field. His grin subsided then, and sadness, once again, spread over his features like a shadow.

He knocked only once and immediately heard her voice. He walked in, recognizing the old Headmaster's office. Severus Snape had left it exactly like Albus Dumbledore had had it, and Minerva had kept it this way; 'probably as a way of honouring that stupid old man', Draco thought. He did not wait for her offer, and sat down in front of her desk.

-You wanted to see me.

-That's right, Draco. Would you like some tea?

-You're offering me tea? –his left eyebrow rose.

Minerva sighed and rubbed her temples parsimoniously. It was too much. Everything that had befallen her was taking her down, and she had too much in her hands to simply let go. She leant back against her chair and observed the student in front of her, narrowing her eyes. Draco stood her stare impassibly.

-If you ever tell anyone I offered you alcohol I'm going to deny it, and given both our current social statuses, no one will believe you.

-Fair enough, Minerva –he gave her a crooked smile.

She opened the drawer at her right and took a bottle of firewhiskey and a couple glasses. She filled them up and handed one to Draco, who pretended to observe and analyze the colour of the beverage as if he was an expert on the subject. The poor idiot.

-How are you, Draco?

-I'm alright.

-Seriously?

-My hands are suffering the long-lasting effect of cauldron-scrubbing, but yes, I guess you could say I'm quite alright.

-How many days of detention do you have left? –she asked.

-Only three –he grinned, as if it was a personal triumph.

-I never asked you how the visit to Azkaban went.

-I attributed it to your formal courtesy. Obviously, I was wrong.

-How are your parents, Draco? –she formed a triangle with the tips of her fingers.

-Like the rest of the Azkaban prisoners, Minerva.

She knew he was going to refuse to talk about this matter any longer. All hopes of finally breaking him and picking up the pieces were gone now, as she watched him gently swing the half-full glass, making the liquor inside dance rhythmically. Another sigh escaped her thin lips before she attacked the matter she had called him in for.

-As you know, Severus Snape had no family.

-No big surprise there –he frowned.

-It took some time but his will has finally been read and legally processed.

-Oh? –his voice dripped disinterest.

-Everything he owned belongs to you now, Draco.

She drank slowly from her glass as she watched the boy's expression change gradually. Maybe she had been wrong and he could still be saved, somehow. Probably to someone else, he would have still looked cold, but she was too old to fool.

-All his possessions (excuse me, your possessions), are in his room and office. Here's the key –she handed him a tiny gold key-. And seeing as nobody needs to use those rooms, you can dispose of them until next year. You know where they are, don't you?

-Yes –he answered before swallowing hard.

-Very well, then. You may go now.

Draco stood up calmly and put the key in his pocket. He nodded at Minerva and left the office walking straight as a pin. As he walked through the halls, Blaise spotted him and followed him.

-Draco, mate, what did she want? –he asked once he caught up with him.

-Not now, Blaise –he kept walking forward, not even bothering to look at his friend.

Blaise stopped walking and let him go away, wondering why the hell his friend looked so distant. Once Draco found Snape's office, he had serious difficulties to put the key in the keyhole, for his hands were shaking so much he had to try a couple times before he actually made it. The door closed behind him with a soft clicking noise.

-_Lumos._

Snape's spell was still efficient. The second Draco's wand lit up, the several rows of candles all over the place did as well. He had seen his teacher's office many times before, but had never paid much attention to the details. The sober, dark wood table presided the place, a piece of parchment still resting on it. At the right, many shelves containing hundreds of books. At his left, cabinets with potion ingredients, some of them so rare he had never seen them in his life. The whole place smelled like dust; it had been closed since Severus' death. He opened the door which he knew led to Severus' room, where he had never set foot before. He had imagined the place to be a gothic sanctuary, with black velvet drapes to protect the Slytherin head teacher from the rays of sunlight. On the contrary, a very moderately furnished room appeared before his eyes. Feeling his throat tighten at the sight of Severus' personal place, he took a circular look at the room. The walls could not be seen, for they were completely covered with more shelves, which contained more books. That was no surprise. No one could have expected Severus Snape to have a secret fondness for Quidditch. Next to the single bed, there was small glass table, where some more candles shone, illuminating the two photographs in black and white, placed side by side. The first one, he recognized immediately. He had asked Snape to join him in the picture during his sixteenth birthday, where all of his parents' acquaintances had congregated. Snape's face was as unruffled as usual, but a sparkle of pride shone in his dark eyes.

That was, probably, the most expected moment in Draco's post-war life. The moment when the knot in his throat would loosen up and finally allow him to confess himself. It was almost a happy moment, when he felt his nasal conducts tighten and tears bloom in his eyes. He was already crying profusely when he spotted the second photograph. The woman in it, he had never seen. But, even though the picture was in black and white, he was certain those eyes had been emerald green. Just like the eyes of the baby she was holding in her arms.

Draco started to get dizzy. He had to sit down and inhale heavily to avoid fainting right there. Both pictures seemed to stare at him from the bedside table. He looked at himself in the first picture. What a fucking idiot. Standing proudly, there, as if he had ever done anything of value. All those people were worth something: that Lily Evans, she had died to protect her son; that stupid Potter had risked everything to save their world, to save them all. And then of course, there was Severus. The Severus he had dined with so many times in Malfoy Manor, convinced he was his closest friend, and also his father's. Just a traitor. But what a traitor. Now that no other Voldemort followers were there to retaliate on him, he could finally say it: the greatest man he had ever known had lived, slept, written and loved those same pictures in that exact room. And, however unworthy he was of the affection Severus had professed him, Draco felt, for the first time in his life, he actually had someone of value to look up to. And he wasn't going to disappoint him. Wherever the fuck he was.


	11. A dragon was missing

**CHAPTER 11: A dragon was missing. **

Severus' legacy to Draco was, of course, top secret. And, like all top secrets, it spread faster than gun powder. In a couple days, everybody knew the Malfoy heir was also the Snape heir, which gave place to a lot of insane rumours to circulate around the school about the deceased Potions master and Mrs. Malfoy. Obviously, nobody had the guts and death wish to tell Draco. Not that he needed anyone to tell him, though. Not that he cared at all. That day, he ignored Daphne's incendiary looks from the other end of the table as he listened to Blaise and Astoria arguing about some muggle rock band.

-How do you even know a muggle band, Blaise? –he frowned at his friend.

-Well, I… -Blaise turned pink on his cheeks- Remember that girl I told you I met two summers ago, in the French Riviera?

-Vaguely –Draco shrugged. Blaise's conquests were tremendous in number.

-She was into… This kind of stuff.

-I thought Astoria here was the only pure-blood witch to listen to muggle music –he smirked and received a scowl from the girl.

-I never said she was a witch, mate –Blaise laughed.

Fortunately, Narcissa had done her job with Draco and taught him exquisite manners at the table. Otherwise, he would have spat the pumpkin juice all over the table. Once he had swallowed precipitately, his jaw dropped. Blaise gave Astoria a funny look, and the girl smiled and shook her head.

-You… -he repressed the word 'fuck'. He was in the company of a lady, after all. A very weird lady, he must say. But a lady- You've been with muggles?

-Oh, you should have seen THAT muggle –Blaise gave him his infamous smirk.

-Here, listen to this –Astoria handed Draco an ear-phone.

He looked at the tiny plastic piece as if it was a bug. She put one in her ear, to show him what to do, and he mimicked her gesture. A loud music immediately invaded his brain, and he wrinkled his nose.

-What the hell what that?

-That was Avenged Sevenfold, my friend –Astoria laughed.

-Jesus Christ, Blaise, the things you do for a fu… -he stopped himself.

-For a fuck –the girl finished the sentence-. Malfoy, it's me you're talking to. I'm not going to get offended.

-So you seriously listen to this all day? –he couldn't seem to understand.

-Pretty much.

-What is the point of having a guy continuously growling at your ear? –he grinned.

-Ha ha –she rolled her eyes-. Repress your language, young man, you're in the presence of a younger lady.

-That is true. What happened to us, Blaise? –he looked at his friend- We used to rule this fucking house.

-Yeah. Chicks at our feet.

-Uh-huh. Now we have a little bat following us around.

-Oi! –Astoria reached over and smacked Draco on his head, probably harder than she had meant it.

-Stop abusing me! –he whined- Just because you're tiny doesn't mean I cannot hex the hell out of you!

-I'm not THAT tiny! –she growled.

She regretted the sentence immediately when Blaise's shameless eyes settled on her chest and evaluated her small breasts. She glared at him.

-Finished?!

-How often do you get mistaken by a guy? –he smirked.

-I'm not sure. And you?

This time, Draco could not help it and choked on the pumpkin juice he had just swallowed. God, he liked that. He had been a little nervous because of the Ball that was to take place in the evening. Obviously, he had no partner. Out of solidarity, Blaise hadn't asked anyone so Draco wouldn't be the only one without a girl. They were not surprised to hear that Astoria was also going by herself. She had never attended the Ball dangling from a guy's arm.

-By the way, Astoria… -Blaise's tone warned the girl about the question he had yet to formulate.

-No, she doesn't have a partner either –she rolled her eyes.

-Well, isn't this perfect? –he smiled- Two single guys, two single ladies… Am I the only one here who can count?

-Keep dreaming, Zabini –she cracked up-. I've never seen her dance with anyone.

-You will tonight, Astoria.

-How the hell can you be so confident? –she frowned slightly.

Blaise leant back against his chair and gave her his incandescent smile which more or less meant something like: 'How the hell can I not?'. Alright, she admitted to herself that Blaise was probably the closest thing possible to a top model. She only had to watch him walk around the halls to notice how girls stared at him; he was hard to ignore. Even she had found herself setting eyes on his long legs or muscular chest. It was, of course, very disturbing whenever that happened, and she would have taken three rounds of _crucio_ before confessing it. Long story short, Blaise was pretty hot.

-I just need to know one thing –he said, leaning forward again- What colour is her dress?

-Red.

-Of course –he smiled and winked at her, playfully.

She had to smile back at him. After that, she checked the time and decided she was going to be late for Charms if she didn't move her arse in that precise moment.

-Gentlemen –she got up-, I'll see you tonight, then.

-Definitely –Blaise smirked as Draco waved goodbye slightly.

* * *

-Stop insisting!!! –her scream echoed throughout the bedroom.

-Fiiiiiine!

Luna laughed as she saw Helena glare at Astoria. The latter would not allow her to pin her fringe back so her eyes could be completely visible. Helena looked, as expected, totally delicious, with her red strapless dress which fit her like a glove and her high heeled silver stilettos. Her wavy hair was up in a delicate chignon and she had spent at least an hour doing her make up. Luna did not look half bad herself. She was wearing that horrible yellow dress, but had at least allowed her friend to do her hair and make up, and was wearing a very natural shimmering pink on her eyelids and lips. She looked like a doll. Neville was going to love it.

-You're done, then, Luna?

-Yes.

Both girls stood up and gave each other approving smiles. Astoria frowned, from a distance. She always got grumpy when she had to attend those kinds of gatherings. Helena had tried with all of her efforts to make her change into something a little more appropriate, but Astoria was wearing the same clothes she had put on that morning: a black zipper hoodie, a black short skirt, her belt with spikes, green and black striped knee-high socks and her army boots.

-Not even the shoes? –Helena pleaded at her.

-No.

-God damn it…

Astoria looked in the mirror behind her. Yeah, she did look kind of pathetic, but it was not like a strapless dress and nice shoes could fix it. She checked her make up: dark green eye-shadow and black eye-liner. No black lipstick this time, though. She thought it looked a little too dramatic for her taste.

-Hi, Neville –everyone smiled at the sight of Luna blushing.

-Hello, Luna, you look gorgeous –he dared to say.

Helena raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Neville was, in fact, trying his hardest to behave like a total gentleman. Maybe he was not the guy she would have picked, but Luna seemed perfectly happy to take his arm and walk into the Ball room with him. Astoria sighed at the sight of the crowd. Almost immediately, she felt a hand on her shoulder:

-It's not going to be that bad and you know it –Helena said.

-I know, but don't leave me alone, okay?

-I won't.

Astoria knew her friend meant it. As they walked in, keeping their heads up, she felt, once again, how all eyes were fixed on Helena. People didn't even notice her, walking right by the hottie's side. She should have been grateful for that, and she was, actually. But a tiny part inside of her also wished to be looked at with that kind of admiration at least once in her life. They found a peaceful corner and started drinking punch, observing the couples that passed by, swirling.

-Good evening, ladies.

Before she actually saw Blaise, Astoria was already smirking. Yeah, he was in for a treat, that night, using his sensual extra-elegant voice. Damn, he looked good. Helena had to fight the instinct of dropping her jaw at the sight of him. He started giving her conversation, displaying his multiple seduction weapons. Draco kept some distance, and eventually sat down at a table with Astoria, who looked bored as ever. They exchanged meaningful looks as a couple who were making out passed in front of them, trying to follow the music with their feet as well as their tongues. They laughed at a time. Draco sighed.

-If I had known how much funnier it is to simply laugh at the dancers, I would have never attended this thing with a partner.

-It's alright; you've given me quite a repertoire of funny moments.

He faked a glare as she laughed, and wondered, absently, what those piercings would feel like. Draco had no time to reflect on the thought, because a slender figure blocked his vision of the dance floor. Daphne had decided to use all the artillery that night: her new, _haute couture_ emerald dress revealed more than it covered. She was obviously not wearing a bra, and her whole back was uncovered; the dress began at the same spot her butt did. She gave her sister a dirty look before focusing her attention (and upper front body) on Draco.

-Don't you want to dance? –she gave him the same look a professional would have given her sweaty client.

-Not really –he shook his head.

-Why?

-Because I'd much rather stay here –when he saw she approached the empty chair next to him, he hurried to add- with Astoria.

-What? –her expression changed abruptly.

-You heard me, Daphne –he threatened her with his silvery eyes.

Daphne cleared her throat and stood straight as a pin before turning on her heels and walking away, swaying her hips as if saying 'Look what you're missing'.

-You can go if you want –Astoria said.

-I don't.

-Are you sure?

-Completely. What I said was true.

-Why?

-Hell if I know… But it is true.

For the first time since she was a kid, she couldn't hold his stare and averted her eyes from his. A couple seconds later, Helena approached their table, with a stupid smile on her face.

-Uh… Listen, Astoria… -she bit her lip.

-You go and dance with him –Astoria rolled her eyes-. It's about bloody time.

-You sure you don't mind? –she asked, before smiling back at Blaise, who was also waiting for Astoria's approval.

-Fuck, Lena, I'm not your mother, go and have some fun!

-Thanks! –the girl kissed the top of her head before walking off holding Blaise's arm.

Astoria noticed Helena was wearing a red flower in her head, a natural rose. She told Draco and he made an 'Aah' sound. That was why the boy had wanted to know Helena's dress' colour. God, he was good. As she laughed, her eyes wandered across the room. There she was. She spotted her sister, looking straight at her and making comments which made the rest of her bitchy friends laugh. They all were giving her the stink eye. Astoria's black eyes narrowed down to slits as she felt her insides boil with rage.

-_Delenda est Cartago (A.N. Cartago must be destroyed)._

Draco chuckled once he followed her eyes and realized what was going on. He couldn't agree more. As he stood up, Astoria looked at him. She was not the only one, several pairs of eyes did the same. He extended his arm, offering Astoria his hand. She blinked a couple times before she actually understood what was going on. 'What the fuck', she thought. Draco Malfoy was asking her to dance with him. In public. At Hogwarts. She saw how her sister's eyes seemed about to bulge out of her face and smiled at the sight. When he took his hand she was actually surprised that her own looked so small inside of his. Draco led her to the dance floor with a flourished move, as if he was trying to show her off.

-That was unnecessary –she muttered, after every Slytherin girl had given her the most deathly glares.

-_Au contraire_, it was totally necessary –he smirked.

-You are aware you're dancing with the school freak, right?

-You're not a freak, Astoria –he said, seriously-. You just dress very fucking weird.

She followed his metallic eyes down to her legs and stopped on her stripped long socks. The girl had to laugh at his face. It was actually a nice thought: dozens of girls were in that exact moment, wishing to be in her place.

-Just don't step on me with those shoes or we're both going down –he commented.

-Don't worry, I won't –she nodded, with a smile.

As they swung across the room, they found Blaise and Helena, who would not believe what their eyes were seeing. Draco and Astoria laughed at their faces. After some meaningful looks were exchanged, they drifted away to give the couple some space. Not even a minute had passed, when Astoria told Draco to look at them. They were already exchanging saliva, which was the first time ever for Helena (at least, to Astoria's knowledge).

-I don't know about her, but that's definitely good for him –he whispered in her ear.

She almost jumped when she felt his breath so close. It did trigger past memories that she did not want to bring back; but it also made her feel something new and different, which she attributed to her hard-working hormones. All of a sudden, she was more aware of the fact her left hand was still in his right one, and Draco's left was firmly placed at the small of her back. Short as she was, she barely reached his shoulders, and she was eye level with his chest. Her eyes widened when she discovered herself trying to find a gap between his shirt buttons to see a patch of naked skin. Fortunately, when she thought she was about to faint, the song finished.

-Do you want to go outside? –he asked her, concerned- You just got paler.

-Yeah, maybe it's better –she nodded, happy to leave the dance floor.

He escorted her outside, and led her across the garden, holding her by the arm, just in case she got dizzy. She breathed deep inside and immediately felt better. He relaxed a little bit when she gave him a reassuring smile. Soon, they found a solitary bench. The night breeze was cold, but, since Astoria was still wearing her hoodie, they both were okay with it. They sat in silence, admiring the full moon.

-That was a first –she commented, on the most casual tone she was able to reproduce.

-Was it really that bad? –he smirked.

Astoria didn't answer, and looked at her boots instead. He wondered what the right words to say next would be, but was not sure of anything anymore.

-Are you alright?

-Yes –she answered too quickly.

-Why don't I believe you? –he grinned.

-Because you're a pompous idiot, perhaps? –Astoria snapped.

-Wow. Sorry –he held a hand up.

-No, I… -she bit her lower lip, nervous- Don't pay attention to me. I just.. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight.

-You don't? –his eyebrow rose.

-I'm… Not sure. Okay?

-When was the last time you had any kind of physical contact with a guy? –he asked, out of random. Had he used another tone, she would have immediately slapped him, but in this particular case, he did sound quite concerned.

-If you take out the times I've kicked someone's arse… Well, that one time, you kind of hugged me when you came back from Azkaban.

-And before?

-Nothing.

-Nothing? –his eyes widened, and he realized that he had just forced her (nicely, yes, but forced her after all) to establish physical contact with him- I'm sorry, why didn't you tell me you didn't want to dance?

-Because I did want to dance with you –her voice was barely a whisper now.

-Why?

-I… I don't know, okay?! –she threw her hands in the air- Because I wanted to know what it felt like, to dance with a hot guy and have everyone around wishing to be me! It doesn't happen very often. That might have been my last chance ever.

-What are we talking about, Astoria? –he placed a hand on her shoulder, carefully.

-I have no fucking idea! –okay, he was starting to get worried; she looked like she could start crying at any second- I have no idea what the hell that was, I just know that I liked it and that really scared me, okay?!

-You mean that you like me? –he spoke softly.

-I… Guess so –she covered her face with her hands-. I'm just so scared.

-You're scared of me.

-I'm not sure. Maybe.

-Do you trust me?

-I trust you more than I trust most people, yeah –she nodded.

-Well, then, can I just try one thing?

-O… Okay…

Draco scooted closer to her and looked her in the eye. It was painfully obvious that she was scared to death about what had happened and what was yet to come. As slowly and carefully as he could, Draco brushed her long fringe off her face and placed his hand against her cheek. She tensed, but didn't back away. He looked into her jet black eyes once more before actually leaning in to kiss her. Their lips met quickly, but firmly, and he finally felt the unknown touch of her lip rings. That was it; he pulled away. She opened her eyes and blinked once, with a confused expression.

-So? –he asked her.

-You just kissed me.

-Uh-huh –he smiled.

-Never do that again –she said. His expression changed radically.

-Why not?

-Because it felt alright –she shivered.

-It's supposed to feel alright –Draco tilted his head to the side.

-No, it's not –she frowned-. Not for me, I mean.

-You like me, I kissed you. It's normal.

-I don't care if it's normal or not. It can't happen again.

-Why?! –Draco exploded.

-Because that's all you're going to get! –she yelled in his face- I'll never be able to give you anything else, and don't try to tell me you can live like that.

-You can try to fool yourself as much as you want, Astoria –he made a face-. But you like me, and I like you, and there's nothing we can do about that.

-Since when do you like me?!

-I have absolutely no idea –he shrugged-. One day it started and I couldn't help it. If you're too scared to go ahead and try it out, that's fine. But don't blame me for it. At least I've been honest with you.

-Thanks for your sincerity –she spat.

-I'm sorry I hurt you. That was really **not **my intention**. **

**-**Leave me alone –she simply said, bringing her knees to her chest and bracing herself.

* * *

The Ball was already over when Draco crossed the hallway, fuming mad. His long legs took even longer steps towards the teacher's offices. He did not want to go to the dorm that night and face Blaise. He didn't want to face anyone, except for maybe, a cold shower. He didn't hear the steps behind him until he was in front of Severus' office, looking for the key in his pockets. He didn't have to turn around; Daphne's perfume was obvious and recognizable.

-What the fuck do you want?

-What do you think? –she took a step closer.

Draco opened the door with a soft click. He didn't even bother to murmur the spell to light up the candles in the room. Without previous warning, he yanked her arm and dragged her inside the dark office. She gasped, excitedly. Daphne tried to reach out to him, but found no response to her caresses whatsoever. She thought a little conversation would heat things up and got up on her tip toes to whisper in his ear:

-Did you have fun with my sister?

For a second, nothing was heard, but silence, and then she felt his hand grab a fistful of her curls and pull her head back until she whimpered. Her eyes were not used to the darkness yet, and she could not see his face while he ordered:

-Shut the fuck up.

Her tone froze her, and for the first time, she realized she was not safe in the same room as he. A little too late. She squealed as she felt him push her against the wall. She hit the shelves, and immediately recognized the scent of old books. It smelled like the library. She felt Draco rip her dress at the back of her neck. She wanted to get pissed off at him for ruining a many-thousands-pounds dress, but could not say a word against it. The silky fabric slid down her body without a sound. She couldn't see anything yet. It was not the first time they had sex, and it probably wouldn't be the last one, seeing as he always had to, eventually, resort to that kind of whore. She heard a zipper and arched her back in anticipation. She wasn't wearing any underwear. 'Of course not'. Draco waited for at least five seconds. That was time enough for her to decide if she wanted to stay or leave. Her answer was clear when she whispered his name with bliss.

-I told you to shut the fuck up.

Those were the last words he said to her. As expected, she didn't dare say anything else, and limited her expressions to simple utterances. Once he was finished with her, they could both see in the dark, and, as he breathed heavily, Draco realized he was even more frustrated than before, for the back in front him was missing a dragon.


	12. Where am I?

**CHAPTER 12: Where am I?**

_A.N: I would like to correct some previous data. In the second chapter, I wrote that Helena had been named after the Ravenclaw House's founder. That's wrong, since the initiator of the House was Rowena Ravenclaw, Helena's mother. Thanks to Skippy Agogo for the correction, and thanks to everyone reading and/or reviewing too. _

She had been lying awake for what seemed like hours, trying to drift off to sleep; but the harder she tried, the more awake she felt. The bed next to hers was empty, and she was certain that her sister was not spending the night alone. 'It doesn't have to be him', she reminded herself, 'There's plenty of guys in the school'. She was already asleep when Daphne walked in, on her tip toes, holding her dress up with her hands.

After three or four hours, it was time to get up. Astoria groaned and buried her face deeper into her spongy pillow, feeling her head throb because of the sunlight. Suddenly, she remembered what had happened and harshly turned around to check the bed next to hers. Daphne was there, already sitting up and brushing her golden curls.

-Hey –Astoria said.

-Hey –Daphne's eyebrows rose; she was a little bit surprised her sister said anything.

Astoria said nothing else, as she proceeded to examine her sister's face, hair, and general appearance. The bitch was glowing.

-Did you have fun yesterday? –Daphne smiled at her, venom dripping off her words.

Her sister got up and brushed her fringe off her eyes before looking back at her. She hadn't even wiped the make up off her face before going to bed and looked somewhat like a crazed racoon. Unsure of Daphne's intentions, she shrugged.

-Yeah, it was a fun evening, wasn't it? A bit funnier for me, I guess, but anyway…

-What's that supposed to mean? –she was starting to get pissed off.

-You know exactly what I mean –Daphne lowered her voice, and a spark of malevolence shone in her bright green eyes.

Astoria forced herself to laugh. She waved her hand in front of your sister, as if saying she didn't give a fuck. Unfortunately, Martha and Pansy had already left the room and the older girl smiled even wider. With deliberately slow movements, she brought her hands to her mass of curls and pulled her hair back, showing her sister her pale and delicate neck. A large bruise was becoming purple already on the right side of it. Astoria's eyes widened as she noticed the teeth marks in the middle of the contusion. Daphne displayed all of her pearly teeth as her sister's eyes darkened. She sighed, dramatically.

-I hope you don't mind if I use the bathroom first –she got up and had to look down at Astoria from her height-. I'm so sweaty.

With those words, she walked into the bathroom and locked herself. Astoria decided to open one of the windows and light up a cigarette. She was still smoking when Daphne stepped out of the bathroom, in a cloud of perfume and steam and left the room, grinning as wide as her lips allowed her. The blonde walked all the way down to the Great Hall, saying hello cheerfully to those she knew (and spoke to). The second she approached the Slytherin table, she spotted Draco and Blaise at the end they usually sat at. Swaying her hips, she gave them her most radiant smile.

-Hello boys –she brought a hand to her hair to twirl a couple curls with her fingers.

Blaise looked up at her with emotionless eyes, as if they hadn't been classmates for seven years. Draco's eyes were fixed on his friend, as he parsimoniously sipped on his juice. Daphne switched her weight from one foot to the other, aware she was not very welcome. The second she made the movement to take the empty seat next to Draco, the boy tensed up.

-Don't even think about it, Greengrass –Blaise said, unexpectedly.

The girl's eyes focused on him and his serious expression. He wasn't joking. Blaise Zabini was a good fella. Everyone knew so. He was not the aggressive type, and preferred dialogue to fighting any time. But something about his eyes made clear that she was one step away of triggering something very bad. She froze on the spot and took a couple seconds to regain composure. Clearing her throat, she walked away, and sat at her usual spot. Her eyes met Pansy's by coincidence, and in the millisecond she kept the contact, she knew her ex-best friend was laughing at her in silence. Frustrated, she gave the boys another look and saw how Draco kept turning around every now and then, scanning the Hall with his metallic eyes. Her fists closed tight in anger when she realized the only person missing was her own sister.

* * *

-Hey, Astoria, where were you before? –Luna ran up to her friend, with her backpack bouncing at her back.

-I wasn't hungry –she answered, obviously annoyed.

Luna frowned and wondered if she should ask what was going on. 'Probably not', she thought, for she had known Astoria for quite a while and knew how she acted when something was wrong. With a warning look, she motioned for Helena to join them. The girl looked radiant. And tired. She approached her friends with a smile which faded away the second she saw Astoria's sulky expression.

-What's wrong? –she went straight to the point.

-Nothing –Astoria barked.

-Don't get pissed at me –Helena warned, raising a finger-. You said I could go dance with Blaise, you said you'd be okay.

-Yeah?! Well… -Astoria stuttered; she knew her friend was completely wrong.

-What did he do?

-Who, Blaise? –Luna was a little lost.

-What?! –Helena inquired.

-Nothing, I just… -she pointed at the Great Hall's door- I can't go in there.

-Astoria! –Helena dragged her friend away and Luna followed.

They found a quiet corner and Helena placed her hands on Astoria's shoulders, partly to calm her down, partly to hold her in her place. The girl's black eyes pierced hers with intensity.

-What did he do to you?

With a previous sigh, Astoria proceeded to explain everything that had happened the night before, and how she suspected that her sister had spent the night with Draco.

-Your sister's a whore, anyone could have given her that bite mark –Helena pointed out.

-I guess so…

-There's something I don't understand… -Luna tilted her head aside.

There it was. Her friends knew nothing of Uncle Philip, just like the rest of people. What could she possibly do now?

-If you like him, why don't you date him? –Luna carried on- Or something? –she added when she saw Astoria's face.

Astoria rubbed her temples with her fingers. Her head throbbed like mad; the few hours she had slept, she had been having one nightmare after the other. That moment, she had feared for quite a while now. The moment when her friends would have to understand they weren't important enough to share her secrets, but someone else had been. Someone who, not very long ago, had nothing to do with Astoria.

-Are you busy right now? –she asked.

-Not really, that's what weekends are for –Helena smirked.

-Let's go find a quiet place.

They left the school and walked for at least ten minutes, enjoying the cold, but sunny weather. Finally, Astoria chose a place next to the Lake to sit down on the soft grass. She zipper her jacket up to her chin and hid her hands in her pockets. Her friends sat by her, forming a circle, and waited for Astoria to begin her explanation. It took her a few minutes to start. Once she did, though, words poured out of her as if they had been pushing to get out. She told them everything, without a pause. Everything that had happened the day Daphne turned fourteen, everything that had happened after that. Everything that had happened in detention, with Draco, and how he knew what was wrong with her. Now they could understand the reason why she had freaked out just because of a little kiss.

-This happened three years ago –Helena stated.

-More or less, yeah.

-And you've kept it to yourself until now?

-I know, I'm sorry.

-How could you? –there it was. Helena was going to leave.

-I'm really sorry.

-No, I mean how could you? How could you keep going without anyone by your side?

-Well, I always had someone by my side –Astoria nodded-. Even if you two didn't know what had happened, you were always there for me.

-Damn right we were! –Luna jumped- And we will be there. And if you want me to go and kick Draco Malfoy's arse, just say the word!

Helena and Astoria laughed, surprised, at their friend's outburst. It was probably the first time ever she used that expression referring to someone. Slowly, Luna calmed down and began laughing as well, conscious of how awkward the scene had been.

-Anyway, Luna, how was it with Neville? –Astoria asked out of random.

-Oh, well… -the blonde giggled.

-Uuuuuh!! –Helena reached over to poke her on the stomach- Details!!

-Nothing, you know, we just had a lot of fun, dancing and talking…

-And snogging… -Astoria raised her eyebrows, comically.

-We weren't snogging, I swear! –Luna placed her hands on her chest- It was just a couple kisses.

-With or without tongue? –Helena teased her.

-Without, of course!

-I just realized something… -Astoria said, all serious- Out of the three of us, I'm the one with the most sexual experience. Isn't that sad?

-Don't count on it for much longer… -Helena's smirk said it all.

-That's right, what about Blaise? –Luna asked.

-Nothing happened! –she anticipated, at the sight of Astoria's face- But maybe in a future it will. Who knows?

-So I guess it went okay?

-It went great –she only needed to lick her lips to resemble a cat after drinking her milk.

-Careful, Lena –Astoria warned her-. He is a good kid, but he's not as peaceful as he seems.

-It's not like I want to give him a psychiatric exam –she rolled her eyes.

The other two girls had to laugh at Helena's remark. It seemed like she was ready to give up on her 'tough girl' façade and accept the fact Zabini drove her crazy. Which was actually kind of unsettling for Astoria. If things worked out between those two, there would be a permanent link between her and Draco.

* * *

-Stop it –Blaise said, out of random.

They had been playing chess for almost an hour now, and even though Draco kept his eyes focused on the board, Blaise could see his mind was wandering again. The blond sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have told Blaise about everything that had happened. Probably Astoria deserved a little more discretion, but he had to burst out at one point or another. Not only was he feeling like shit because of what had happened, but also because of what was yet to come. He knew Astoria would never again speak to him, because Daphne had surely told her everything. Of all the skanks in the school, he had to pick that one. Blaise shared his thoughts and was, secretly, a bit disappointed. He had been noticing for a while now how his best friend and Astoria behaved when they were together, and how they both seemed to tame each other to a certain point. Not that he was ready to let go of Draco, yet. But she was his best option to take care of him.

-Sorry –Draco muttered.

-You need to stop this –Blaise laid back on his chair, abandoning all hopes of finishing the game.

-I can't. I don't know where I am anymore.

-What do you mean? –Blaise furrowed his brow.

-It's like I'm in the middle of something, there's no signs, nothing. Where do I go? I should have never come back here. Fucking McGonagall screwed everything up.

-And where would you be? –Blaise snorted.

Draco thought with warmth of Kerrin, the house elf, probably for the first time ever. Before, she had never been something to take into account; she was always there, like a piece of furniture. She belonged to the Malfoy family and that was it. However, when his parents were taken to Azkaban, she was the one to watch him, and she cooked for him and took care of him until he went back to Hogwarts. It was not until then, when nobody was heating up the house for him anymore, and nobody cooked the steak raw as he liked it, and nobody looked him in the eye in the exact same way as before, that he realized how important that elf was to him. She would be alright, at home, with her kind, but it gave him a bittersweet comfort to know that Kerrin was probably missing her master. Maybe it was time to go back home. He had enough money and properties to rot in there without ever having to lift a finger again. Yeah, it was probably the time to step out of the picture. Let Blaise pull himself together, and give him some peace. That Helena was definitely worth it, even though she was a Ravenclaw.

-I have to go talk to McGonagall –Draco said.

-Why? –Blaise repressed the impulse of reaching out to him.

-Don't wait for me tonight; I'll probably sleep in the office.

-Okay…

Blaise watched Draco get up and leave him there, in front of the fireplace. The chess board was still full of figures. Tiredly, he collected all of them and put them in the box, one by one. That game was another thing he could never go through with Draco. Another line in the list.

Minerva had been snoozing on her comfortable armchair when she heard the knock. Grunting, she gave permission to whoever it was to walk in. She was not really surprised when she saw the white-blond hair pop into her vision range. With a curt nod, she told him to sit down.

-What's bothering you, Mister Malfoy?

-Sorry I woke you up –he smirked.

Boy, how she wanted to slap that brat right on his porcelain face.

-I came to see you because I'm going home. I thought I had to tell you in private.

-Well, I've got to admit it, Draco, it took you longer than I expected.

-Pardon?

-I thought you wouldn't last a week in here. Congratulations.

-May I ask the reason why? –he frowned.

-Seeing as you've become _persona non grata_ for approximately everyone, I believed you would give up much sooner. I guess I underestimated you.

-Thanks for the compliment –he snorted. That had been unexpected.

-Anyway, you're free to do whatever you think it's best. You're not underage anymore, and you can make your own decisions.

-So you're not even going to try? –he asked her- I've got to say I did not expect this, Minerva.

-So basically you just came here so you could hear the Headmistress of Hogwarts say that you are a good boy and you have a great potential and everything is going to be alright, and oh, how sorry I am you don't want to stay?

-Now you're just being nasty.

-I am very busy right now, Mister Malfoy –she dipped her quill into the inkwell.

-I'll write home tomorrow and I'll probably be gone in a couple days.

-In that case you're excused from whatever classes you may have.

-Thank you, Headmistress –he got up and walked towards the door.

She sighed when she heard the door open and thought she might as well say what she was thinking:

-Draco.

-Yes?

-You're not a good boy. But you're not bad either. You do have a certain potential, but I cannot assure you that everything will be alright. Oh, and if you decide to leave I will be somewhat relieved. And definitely sorry.

-Is that all? –his throat tightened up.

-Yes. You may go now.

The office door closed with a soft 'click'. Draco heard the woman sigh heavily before he walked away.


	13. Welcome home

**CHAPTER 13: Welcome home. **

Snape's office was a little too cold for his taste. The man had probably preferred it that way, but since Draco was the one in charge of the rooms now, both fireplaces were instantly lit up. He liked it better like that, it was a little more comfortable and a bit less menacing. Draco liked it there. It was better than being at the dorm, anyway. Having to share a room with two idiots he didn't even talk to and Blaise was not exactly his idea of privacy. And privacy had become a very crucial factor in his life. After his parents had been sent to Azkaban, dozens of journalists and photographers had camped in front of Malfoy Manor. Afraid of retaliation, he hadn't had the guts to hex the hell out of them. He was already lucky that his parents covered up for him. Apparently, he was as innocent as a kitten. Which wasn't true. But since he couldn't be proved to have performed any particular action in favour of the Dark Lord, he was declared not guilty. Which was a load of bullshit; he had a Mark on his arm to remind himself of that.

Draco found a piece of blank parchment and wrote a brief note to Kerrin, explaining that he was to arrive home in a couple days. A small smile formed on his lips when he imagined the house elf would have all the fireplaces lit by the time he arrived. It would be good to see her again.

-I'll send this in the morning –he muttered to himself.

He had acquired the bad habit of talking to himself. It made him look like a loon, obviously, but it was somewhat comforting in moments like those. Hearing his own voice made him feel, perhaps not so lonely. He exhaled heavily and rotated his neck. He heard his collarbones crack. It was time to go to bed; God knew he desperately craved some sleep. A sparkle on the floor caught his eye, and he bent down to pick it up. It was one of Daphne's gold earrings. She must have probably dropped it intentionally so that he would have to give it back.

-The hell I am.

With a harsh move, he opened the closest window and threw his arm back. The earring flew until he lost sight of it. Almost unconsciously, he walked into the bathroom to wash his hands, as if he had touched something impure, which was actually kind of funny, for he had been shagging the earring's proprietor in that same room not even 24 hours ago. Sighing, Draco lied on the warm, soft bed, not even bothering to take his clothes off. He lied on top of the covers, since it felt kind of wrong to sleep wrapped in Severus' sheets. Severus. 'What a fucking weird man', he thought to himself. The same woman led him to perdition, and afterwards made a hero out of him. Draco wondered, amazed, how a woman could have such an effect on a man. A mudblood, on top of that. He directed his eyes at the picture on top of the bedside table. Okay, he had to admit, Lily Evans had been attractive. Pothead had probably gotten his awful looks from his father. Except for the eyes. The woman in the picture seemed fierce and sweet at the same time, as if her wild spirit was tamed down by the baby curling in her arms. He closed his eyes, painfully, as he tried to remember when was the last time his own mother had held him close to her heart. With such damaging thoughts, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

-What do you mean, leaving?

-Leaving, Blaise. Leaving for good.

-But why?

Draco snorted. Blaise was definitely not stupid, but he was stubborn as hell. He knew everything that had happened, he could figure out how the pieces fit together.

-Okay, let's recapitulate: you have nothing with Astoria.

-Right.

-You had a one night stand with Daphne.

-Unfortunately, yes.

-And that's it.

-I guess so.

-Then why do you have to go? –Blaise squinted, as if the thought of Draco leaving was somewhat painful to accept.

-Blaise –Draco said, serious-, I appreciate everything you've done for me, mate. Really. But it's time for me to go. It's the best I can do, for everyone. You included.

-But…

-Mate –he put a hand on his shoulder-, we both know what I'm talking about.

Zabini felt the touch on his shoulder burn as if it was hot coal. Indeed, he knew what Draco was talking about… He felt his share of guilt for his departure. If he hadn't been so weak, Draco would have never acknowledged what he felt for him. He could have probably hidden it well enough. But he was just an idiot.

-That doesn't mean you can't come visit whenever the fuck you please. You're always welcome at the Manor.

Blaise looked down, and focused his stare on one of Draco's shirt buttons. He was _not_ going to cry. He was a pureblood, after all, and purebloods don't cry in public. Nor in private, for that matter.

-I'm going to miss you –he mumbled, afraid he sounded like a fag.

-The feeling is mutual –Draco punched him on the shoulder, smirking.

Blaise's punch was a little bit stronger, and with that, they sealed their doubts. Never mind what had happened between them, they still remained as friends. Blaise sighed.

-Do you want me to tell her anything?

-Who?

-My mother, Malfoy, of course –he rolled his eyes-. Astoria!

-Just tell her I left. That's it. She's smart enough to know it's the best thing I could do.

-You know she's going to feel like shit.

-At least she'll be able to walk into the Great Hall again. Take care of her, will you?

-What did you just say? –Blaise grinned.

-Oh, fuck off.

-You told me to take care of her? So you're actually concerned about someone who uses knickers? What the hell happened to you, Draco Malfoy?

-Shut up –he shoved him hard in the chest, knowing it wouldn't even hurt him. That stupid Blaise was even better built than him.

* * *

-Potter.

Harry hadn't seen Draco approaching him, and was a little startled. Immediately, Hermione and Ron tensed, and the blond saw how both hands flew into their pockets, ready for anything.

-You two lovebirds can relax, I just want a word with Potter here.

-You can say whatever you want right here, Malfoy –Harry looked at him.

-Consider it a personal favour.

Harry almost spat his pumpkin juice all over his friends. Malfoy asking a favour?! He must have been dreaming. He got up, hesitatingly, and followed the Slytherin outside the Great Hall. Once alone, Draco handed him something. Harry looked at the object he was holding with suspicion. What if it was charmed?

-Just take it, Potter –Draco dangled it in front of his face.

Harry, annoyed, snapped it off his hand. It was a photograph. It took him some seconds to recognize the sparkling eyes in it. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of his mother, and at the sight of himself, as a baby. He looked up at Draco.

-Where did you get this?! –it seemed kind of obscene that Malfoy had had access to the picture.

-Snape left me all of his possessions. That's to say, his books. I found this in his room and thought you'd like to keep it.

-You thought I'd like to keep it? –Harry raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

-Yes, Potter –Draco stuck his nose up-. I have a mother, I know what it feels like. You may not think much of me but I'm still a human being.

-Well, I… -he cleared his throat- Thanks.

-You're welcome. And I'm glad to announce you won't have to worry about me anymore. I'm leaving.

-You're going home?

-Yes. Apparently coming back here was a bad choice.

-Apparently?

-Do you have hearing problems, Potter? Or you simply like to repeat everything I say?

-Fine, have it your way, you prick.

Draco turned around and started walking away. Unfortunately, Harry Potter was the epitome of the Gryffindor moron and had to ask another question.

-What are you going to do?

-What? –Draco looked over his shoulder.

-I mean… With your life.

-I have no fucking idea, Potter.

-Well… Good luck. Anyway.

Draco faced him completely, astonished at how stupid the kid was. Why the hell did all Gryffindors insist on being so blatantly kind? It wasn't normal. It wasn't the way normal people behaved. He had been giving that kid hell for the past seven years (having some reasons of his own, true), and now the bastard was wishing him good luck?

-You're wishing me good luck? –he smirked.

-I wouldn't want to be in your situation, that's all.

-I guess now that you've got everything it's so much easier to look down at me.

-I always looked down at you, Malfoy. I find you kind of pathetic.

-That is more like it –Draco sneered-. Big Scarhead and his big mouth.

Against all predictions, Harry Potter smiled. It wasn't a smirk, or a grin. A real fucking smile. At that point, Draco wondered if he had gone mad during the war.

-I'm actually going to miss you, Malfoy.

-Fuck off.

Harry shook his head and laughed at his nemesis' expression. It was a mixture between completely bewildered and horrified. It was fun, shocking Draco Malfoy. Not many people could get to affect him that much. Harry walked away, and entered the Great Hall with the picture of his mother held tight against his chest. Draco observed the big doors as if he tried to set them alight with his mental powers. That had been diminishing, Potter wishing him luck. What a bastard.

* * *

It was dark night already when Draco appeared at the gates of Malfoy Manor. His parents had casted a spell on their property so that nobody could appear inside of it without previous warning. In a matter of minutes, Kerrin was in front of him.

-Welcome home, Master –Kerrin said, bowing down until her nose almost grazed her big feet.

-Thank you –a slight smile formed on his lips.

The elf led him inside the house, and the second they stepped in, his smile grew wider: as expected, all fireplaces had been lit to welcome him with the warm comfort of finally being home. Once he walked into his father's office, he ordered Kerrin to proceed with her tasks and not pay any extra attention to him. He sat down on his father's leather armchair and smelled the familiar scent of books and dark wood. Draco thanked God that the half-full bottle of scotch was still on the table. The first sip tasted much better than he had expected, and as the liquor ran down his throat, he found it relieving and purifying. Everything was exactly like it was supposed to be. Only one change had affected the bureau: a black and white picture of a tall man and a young boy now rested on its auburn polished surface.

* * *

-Hey, Blaise.

-Hey, Astoria –he raised his gaze up to smile at her.

-How are you?

-Meh. I could be better…

He sat alone by the end of the table, just as if Draco was still there. The rest of the Slytherins gave him even more vicious looks for that. Astoria, for the first time in days, had decided to have breakfast in the Great Hall. She looked emaciated, which he pointed out.

-Yeah, well. I've been living on chocolate frogs and Bertie Boot's Magic Beans.

-How unhealthy –he shook his head-. Now, why would you do that?

-Because I'm stupid and didn't want to have to look Draco in the eye.

-And you've changed your mind?

-Yes. I still want to be friends with him. Where is he, by the way? –she looked around.

-Well, he… -Blaise cleared his throat- He left a couple days ago.

-Left? –Astoria frowned at his words.

-Yeah. He went home.

-Oh, God… -she covered her mouth with her hand- This is my fault.

Blaise shook his head as a response and, unexpectedly, reached over to grab her hand. She tensed up, totally surprised by his gesture.

-Sweetheart, this is not your fault. He's got too much in his head right now. Hogwarts was only making it worse.

Astoria's eyes went wide. She had never been called 'sweetheart' before by someone with a penis. Aware as she was that Blaise's attention towards her was purely friendly and asexual, she couldn't help but feel somewhat attached to him. That was something she would have never expected, but you've got to take things as they come, and the fact she now had another friend at Hogwarts was extremely comforting to her. Still, now that she had finally gathered the courage to confront Draco, he was gone. What a kick in the arse.


	14. Apologies

**CHAPTER 14: Apologies. **

Helena was not going to let her stupid jealousy affect her friendship with someone as great as Astoria. The fact Blaise had held her hand in public was totally insignificant, and the fact they now sat together at every meal was also stupidly meaningless. They were house mates, it was normal. Besides, Astoria would never be interested in someone like Blaise, and vice versa. But then, why did she feel like strangling her best friend every time she saw them together?

-It's not what you think, you know –Luna said, one day during lunch.

-What are you talking about?

-You've been staring at them for the past twenty minutes.

-No, I haven't!

-So now you do know who I'm talking about? –Luna laughed.

-Shut up! –Helena rested her head between her hands, embarrassed.

-Helena, you know Astoria would never do that to you.

-I know.

-And you know he likes you.

-I know… -but she didn't. Blaise had certainly been acting weird.

After breakfast, the three girls met up and Helena watched how Astoria waved goodbye at Blaise. The Slytherin noticed there was something going on with her friend and raised an eyebrow at her.

-Is everything alright?

-I don't know, you tell me.

Luna giggled. Astoria looked at her, in need of some reference to understand what was wrong with Helena. The blonde smiled and shook her head, her expression switching to a somewhat maternal air.

-Helena thinks there's something going on between you and Blaise.

-Luna! –Helena kicked the floor, like a little girl would.

-You can't be serious! –Astoria was horror-struck with the sole idea- Helena, you don't really think that, do you?

-I don't know, okay? –the brunette was obviously embarrassed.

-We're just friends, I swear!

-I know, Astoria… It's just… He's been so distant since the Ball…

Astoria rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on her chest. Helena had always despised that kind of attitude when other girls displayed it; the jealous female was not something Astoria wanted to be confronted with.

-Then maybe you should ask HIM what's going on.

-I was thinking… -Helena bit her lip, hesitatingly- Maybe you could talk to him.

-Me?

-Well, you ARE friends with him, aren't you?

-I don't like your tone, Helena –Astoria's black eyes narrowed down to slits-. If you've got a problem with us being friends, it's your fucking problem.

-She doesn't have a problem! –Luna tried to interfere with her soothing tone.

-As a matter of fact, I do –the brunette placed her hands on her hips and looked down at her friend-. What is it, now that you scared Draco away you're going after his best friend?

-You're fucking nuts –Astoria's upper lip curled up in disgust.

-I just saw you holding hands!

-Stay the fuck away from me –her tone was as calm as the rest of her.

-Astoria… -Luna begged.

The blonde tried to reach out to her friend but Astoria turned around and walked away in a manner so cold she could have frozen hell. Luna gave Helena a pitiful look, earning a glare from her. None of the girls said a word as they walked into the Charms classroom.

* * *

Astoria was fuming mad. How could her best friend think of her in that way? Helena seriously thought she could be able to try and have something with Blaise? Not only was she stupid, for Astoria would have never done something like that, but blind as well. It wasn't that difficult to imagine that Astoria's thoughts were not precisely occupied by Blaise. Of course, she would have taken three rounds of _Crucio_ straight before confessing it. But it was a fact she could not deny. Astoria felt extremely guilty that Draco had gone home. She knew she was probably not the only reason, but her paranoia had obviously contributed to his feeling uncomfortable at Hogwarts. She imagined for a second what his life must have been like since his parents were locked up. She had never felt attached to her parents (especially after the incident with Uncle Phillip), and so she couldn't know how it felt to have someone you love so much taken away to such a horrible destination. But only trying to imagine was awful enough. To top it all off, he had no siblings. She pictured him alone, at the Manor. Probably drinking red wine and reading old manuscripts. The fireplace would be lit, as he was constantly cold. She shook her head. There was nothing she could possibly do now.

Well…

Actually, there was something she could do. Apologizing would be a good start.

As she went down to the Slytherin common room, she saw no one around. Astoria didn't usually skip classes, and she would not make a habit of it, but today was definitely a good day to begin. She sat down at one of the tables and dipped her quill in the inkwell. The blank piece of parchment stared back at her as she wondered how to begin her letter. Slowly, words came into her mind, and even more slowly, they began forming sentences:

_Dear Draco,_

_It is, as you can imagine, very hard for me to write this letter. I know it will probably sound too distant and cold, as usual. However, you have known me long enough to know I always sound too distant and cold. Believe me when I say I am terribly sorry about everything that happened. You have absolutely nothing to do with my problems, and without realizing, I made you pay for them. This is especially mortifying to me, being aware of your own situation as I am. I just wanted to apologize and wish you the best._

_Sincerely, _

_Astoria Greengrass. _

She doubted for a second whether she should send it or not. But she knew she would not be able to sleep until she had seen the owl flying away. On her way back from the tower, she found Blaise. He waved at her.

-Skipping classes, huh? –he grinned.

-Yeah.

-What is it?

-Huh?

-Something happened.

Astoria frowned at Blaise. She hated when he did that. But for some strange reason, enigmatic as she was to everybody else, Blaise had the annoying ability of reading her like an open book.

-It's Helena.

-What's wrong with her?

-She thinks I'm having an affair with you.

Blaise's dark chocolate-coloured eyes bulged out of his skull.

-Yeah, I know. I'm hideous –she laughed.

-No! –he shook his head- Of course you're not.

-Blaise, there are mirrors everywhere, I know what I look like.

-Astoria, you're not ugly!

-Right –she snorted-. Anyway, this is not the point. The point is, if you still want something with her, be aware she's one jealous bitch.

-It's actually flattering.

-Whatever –she rolled her eyes.

-But I was serious about you not being ugly. You know what, if you washed your face every once in a while you could pass for cute –he elbowed her softly on her ribs.

-Yeah? Well… -she couldn't find anything bitter to say, and so she stuck her tongue out at him- Bleeeh!

Blaise laughed at her and she couldn't help to smile back. Her nose wrinkled, giving her a child-like expression. He sighed and passed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in closer to him. As they started walking towards the common room, he suggested a chess game, to which she grinned and simply replied:

-You're going down.

* * *

Damn, she was good. Blaise had been ruminating his next move for at least ten minutes. Astoria sighed for the hundredth time. Finally, he saw the light and moved his queen with a grin of satisfaction on his face. She frowned at the unexpected move. As she thought what to do next, she absentmindedly told him about the letter she had just sent.

-What did you do that for?

-I don't know. I guess I just wanted to apologize.

-Alright.

-Do you think he'll write back?

Blaise sighed and rolled his head, as if he was trying to release some tension. He did not know the answer to the girl's question. Probably not. Draco was too worn out, probably he would not lift a finger to contact her again. Probably. But hey, what the hell did he know?

-I don't know Astoria. I really don't.

-It's okay, though. I felt it was something I needed to get off my chest.

-As long as you feel better…

A sparkle shone in her raven eyes. Blaise caught a glimpse of it and knew he was screwed. With one quick move, she trapped his king between her queen, horse and bishop.

-You definitely suck –he moaned.

-And you're a very bad loser.

-Do you think I should talk to Helena right away or wait until you guys make up?

-I don't think we can possibly make up until she sees that you're still interested in her.

-That's stupid, though. I mean, no offence, Astoria, but I thought it was pretty clear I am interested in her.

-It is to me! –Astoria rolled her eyes- But apparently her self esteem is not as good as it seems.

-Perhaps it is time to improve it? –he smirked.

-If you have anything perverse in your mind I would suggest you dismiss it.

-Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

-Blaise Zabini –she answered, matter-of-factly.

A grin spread across his handsome features, giving her an approximate idea of the kind of attention Helena could be expecting from Blaise from now on. She knew the bastard was going to be the perfect gentleman with her friend, and that, somehow, relieved her, since it was pretty obvious Blaise would be the door to her making up with Helena.


	15. Atonement

**CHAPTER 15: Atonement.**

Astoria watched, from a cautious distance, how Blaise made Helena laugh. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but knew perfectly well that he was being as charming as possible; and that, was a lot. She had not talked to her friend, yet, even though a couple of days had passed, and although she would not admit it out in the open, she was terribly worried that their friendship had been severely damaged. She would have to trust Blaise with that. Observing him flash his 10000 watt smile at her Ravenclaw friend, she started feeling calmer about the whole situation. She had already accepted that Draco was not going to write back at her, but she was at peace with herself, for she had said what had been killing her during those silent days of reclusion.

-They do make a good couple, don't they?

Luna's dreamy voice interrupted Astoria's thoughts. Without taking her dark eyes off the laughing couple, she nodded. All the anger she had been feeling towards Helena had now faded away in favour of a much more unbearable emotion: guilt. Was it possible that she had monopolized Blaise to such an extent? Maybe. Who the hell knew. How things could have changed so vastly in less than a school year was a mystery to her.

-I really hope everything goes alright with those two –she muttered.

-Even if it doesn't, you know she won't stay mad forever.

-Are you sure of that, Luna?

-Yes.

-How can you?

-Because… It's the way things are supposed to be. Us three… We belong together.

Astoria looked at her friend, and admired her ability to smile wide even in the worst possible moments. She had not had an easy life, Luna. Loosing her mom, being raised by a single father (who was not precisely _normal_), being an outcast in school… She could see now why the three of them were always together. They were the same, somehow. Lack of affection, inability to fit in… Astoria brought her hand to Luna's platinum blonde hair and stroked it delicately. She was not perfect. And she was definitely weird. But Luna was much more of a sister to her than she could have ever expected when she first met her. And even though it was very hard for her to show her affection for her friends, they both knew it was there, and believed firmly in it.

* * *

Astoria had not told Luna (nor Helena, obviously), that she had written a letter to Draco. Only Blaise knew, and he had avoided the subject until that day. Sitting one in front of the other, at the end of the Slytherin table, they stared at each other.

-What? –Astoria snapped.

-Any news?

-Bad weather approaching, it seems –she snorted.

-Astoria… You know what I'm talking about.

-I do.

-So…? –he insisted.

Astoria fixed her black irises on his dark chocolate ones. He was supposed to get the point, but raised his eyebrows interrogatively.

-How are things going with you and Lena? –she asked, softly.

This time he did get her point, since such an abrupt change of subject was definitely significant and sighed out loud.

-Fine, they're going fine.

-Have you talked to her about me, yet?

-No, I'm not that stupid, Astoria –he laughed at her expression-. If I start talking to her about you right away she will think I'm only approaching her to do you a favour, then she'll get mad and start becoming paranoid about you and me again.

-How the fuck can you have such an insight view of the female mind?

-Sometimes I think it's the only thing I'm good at…

A shadow of sadness crossed Blaise's gaze, quick as a ghost. She snapped her tongue, in disapproval.

-You know that is a big, fat lie. Almost as big and fat as my dear sister.

Blaise smirked ironically and glanced sideways at the other end of the table. She followed his eyes. Daphne was wearing a revealing shirt and kept placing her hand on one of the guys' arm. Astoria thought, with grief, how beautiful she was, and how different from her.

-She's not big and fat –she said, out of random.

-I can see that –Blaise laughed.

-Do you like her?

-Of course not.

-But if you didn't know her personally, would you like her?

-Well… Of course. She is pretty.

-Yeah…

-What is going through your mind in this precise moment, Astoria?

-I thought you always knew about the female mind.

-I do.

-Okay, so what am I thinking?

-That you're ugly. And she's not. And that it is very unfair because she is disgusting on the inside, which you are not.

-I thought you said I was not ugly.

-I don't think you're ugly. This is your mind, we're talking about, not mine.

-And what else?

-And you feel rejection towards her and the way she behaves.

-That I do.

-And you'd also like to become closer to her.

-What?

-You do –he nodded, while gulping down his pumpkin juice.

-No, I don't.

-Yes, you do. You're not conscious about it yet, but you do wish you had a good relationship with your sister.

Astoria could not open her mouth after that. Blaise's words had been so assertive she did not dare contradict them. At least not until she had thought of a good argument to do so. And the second she started looking for one, she realized that Blaise was actually VERY right. He smiled genuinely at her, but she didn't notice, absorbed as she was in her thoughts. Lost in her stream of consciousness, Astoria abandoned her usual predatory look. Her always narrowed eyes had become wide now, with surprise, and all of a sudden, she looked a little bit like a child. She was trying to recall the times when she and her sister had gotten along. Long lost memories were now flowing through her mind, in a succession of images that seemed now distant to her. She and Daphne, talking at night, under the blankets. She and Daphne trying on clothes. Daphne brushing her long, blond hair before she died it black and cut it. When had things started to fuck up between them both? Astoria had never had a good relationship with her parents, but Daphne had always been more or less nice and normal to her until things changed. But when was that? Her eyes widened even more, and she looked up at Blaise, who was observing her with curiosity. She had finally remembered the last civilized conversation she had had with her sister.

_-Daphne, you look gorgeous –Astoria smiled, brushing her long, blond fringe off her eyes._

_Her sister was looking in the mirror, turning around so she could she her crème coloured dress from all angles. She smiled at Astoria and clapped her hands nervously. _

_-I'm so excited! This is going to be the best fourteen birthday party ever!_

_She sat on her bed, and started doing Astoria's nails with a pastel pink colour. Her younger sister stared at her with a smile as she worked on them. She was feeling nervous, though, seeing as she was not the most social kid ever and there were a lot of guests coming over for Daphne's party. _

_-Just promise me one thing… -she said- Don't leave me alone, today._

_-Don't worry, silly! –Daphne shook her head, and her beautiful golden locks danced around her bright smile- I won't._

So that was it. The reason why she hated Daphne with such a passion was out there, in the light. She remembered now how her parents kept the whole story with Uncle Philip a secret, and never told Daphne a single word about it. Disgusted, Astoria closed up and blamed the only person she could hurt; her sister. After so many years, the girl was finally conscious of her reasons to stay away from her sister. She had not been there. She had promised she'd be there, and then had left her alone, ready to become that bastard's prey. And up until now, Astoria had repressed this truth inside of her, just to use it as fuel against her sister, against everything that she could never be. Against her fears. As she turned her head to the side to take another look at Daphne, her sister's green eyes met hers. Daphne's were full of scorn, and she did not notice the immense sadness and concern in Astoria's. The younger sister continued to stare in silence, wondering how much damage she had caused Daphne by refusing to talk to her, to let her in, after that night. Could it be as much as she had caused her? Was there another narrator for the same story? As she felt her throat tighten, she promised herself she would make up for that. She would make it up to Daphne, somehow. If Blaise hadn't known better, he would have believed Astoria's jet black eyes were starting to water. But in the blink of an eye the sparkles were gone. Nah, now that he came to think about it, who had ever seen Astoria cry?

* * *

In that exact moment, a majestic, dark owl batted its wings, heading for Hogwarts School of Magic, a letter firmly tied to its claw.


End file.
